
Anyway, be forewarned, del Toro used a lot of, let's say, colorful language and descriptions. But without further ado -

5 Things I Learned About Guillermo del Toro:
1 - He really likes to masturbate. Like, a lot.
2 - He became a lapsed Catholic at the age of 15 standing in the morgue of an insane asylum staring at a five-foot high pile of aborted fetuses.
3 - The original sound mix of Pan's Labyrinth sounded like "a dwarf orgy at rush hour." I wish someone would've asked him why dwarves would be having their orgy at rush hour (and, um, why dwarves? Are they especially noisy in their orgy-making?), but alas.
4 - I did mention the masturbate thing, right? Cuz he talked about it for, like, a long while. And it was actually, somehow, part of the same story, above-referenced, of fetus-piles. Masturbation was the counter-point of beauty to the world's ugliness of fetus-piles. Anyway, I actually saw an old woman get up and leave mid-masturbation speech. Okay, so masturbation's covered... something else... you'll be happy to know that his priest never diddled him! Just made him look for the Virgin Mary in corpse-occupied caskets.
5 - He actually blames (or, you could say, credits) his Catholic upbringing for being the basis of his fascination with horror and monsters, because of how totally, and I quote, "fucked up" it was to convince a kid he was eating the flesh and drinking the blood of Jesus at the altar. Apparently his church's Jesus on the crucifix was old-school, with exposed bones and what-not, and he, sanely I must say, didn't want any of that.

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6 comments:
Well if more men masturbated instead of having sex all the time, there would be fewer aborted fetuses in the world.
Yeah, Inarritu definitely looks like an asshole in pictures.
I think Innaritu is a decent director and he could make a really great movie if he split up with that god-awful Guillermo Arriaga.
Thank G-d I read this, or I'd miss it on the movies; it opened this week.
nathaniel, where's the first link on innaritu supposed to lead?
Whoopsie, fixed that. Not Nathaniel's mistake, just me being a bad guest-blogger...
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