Y'all seriously now. I Could Never Be Your Woman, the long completed romantic comedy that stars Michelle Pfeiffer (absent from the screen for 5 soul-deadening years now after an egregious Oscar snub for one of her best performances ever) is still having release and distribution woes: That's due to lots of business problems for Bauer Martinez and MGM as reported in Variety. It's cursed!
I harbored no hopes that ICNBYW was going to be a blockbuster or an Oscar winner or even a critical triumph but my god: Michelle Pfreaking Pfeiffer. Get on it. Put that damn thing in theaters. I mean, geez louise, She Who Must Not Be Named gets distribution for a twee period flick that hasn't even crossed the million dollar mark after a Golden Globe nod but one of the best female stars of all time can't catch a break for a mainstream romantic comedy? God, I hate Hollywood sometimes.
Just as I was typing this (no, really) news came in that Free Style Releasing is the new distributor. The biggest success they've been involved with to date is The Illusionist which did, by most fields of reasonable measurement, shockingly well. But mostly their films have played for two seconds without much promotion like, say, Green Street Hooligans. They're eyeing, Coming Soon tells us, a February 16th release. That's incredibly soon given that there's been no promotion whatsoever. The other big February female star driven romantic comedies (Diane Keaton's la-dee-da in Because I Said So and cutesy poo Drew Barrymore in Music & Lyrics) are already so familiar with ubiquitous promotion that I feel like we're sharing a cycle. It's like their my new best friends.
Pfeiffer is a ginormous star. But she's also been gone for five years. Seems a shame that her return to theaters is likely to be greeted by a whisper instead of a loud parade.