Action Heroine HQ

The Action Heroine Blog-a-Thon
On June 12th, 2007 the Amazons rule the blogosphere
Scroll down for a list of 50 additional participating blogs

Daughters of the Fairy Dust
by Nathaniel R

When the subject of classic action heroines comes up, you’d be safe to assume that most people conjure up instant memories of Wonder Woman, Lt Ellen Ripley (the Aliens franchise) and Buffy the Vampire Slayer before their minds wander to less famed and obsessed over examples of women who muscled their way through cinematic or literary adventures. But I think the vanishing point you need to look at for true action heroine perspective is Peter Pan. Stop laughing. I’m not talking about the many girls in green tights who’ve played this famously stubborn boy–though the traditionally gender switched casting almost makes a case for Peter Pan as an action heroine himself. No, I’m talking Wendy and Tinkerbell. It all goes back to them.

What? You don’t believe this boy can fly with that theory? I can fly try I can try I can try


JM Barrie’s Peter Pan holds a deserved spot in the literary canon. It began life as a play in 1904 before being adapted into the book Peter Pan and Wendy. Many adaptations followed in most every medium. It’s one of those famous stories you can love as a child and never outgrow as an adult because there’s so much that’s magical and insightful in the themes and the telling. The most famous film version is the Disney animated musical from 1953 but that one loses a lot of Peter Pan’s edge (particularly in the case of Tinkerbell) so I prefer the more faithful adaptation from 2003.

Early in the most recent Pan film Wendy mock swordfights with her brothers and frightens them with stories of Captain Hook. There’s a little of Little Women’s protofeminist Jo March in her –only Wendy has it better: she'll actually live out the adventure story she spins for her siblings. Wendy has a fearless spirit, as eager to fly and fight as the boys, but her peers and adversaries try to pin her down to more traditional roles. Her brothers lose the mock battle “Who are you to order me about and call me girlie?” she asks while towering over them. The Lost Boys waiting for her in Neverland also reduce Wendy to a typically feminine role. She becomes the “mother”. While Wendy dutifully fills the maternal vacuum she’s still eager to fly with Pan. It’s easy to see future action heroines in Wendy’s adventurous spirit with a huge helping of maternalization. Even the butchest and most dangerous action heroines are maternalized: The Bride (Kill Bill) and Sarah Connor (Terminator) both fight savagely because of their children. Even the Alien franchise’s iconic Ripley, though childless, is maternalized throughout the series be it through emotional adoption (Newt) or unplanned pregnancy (alien babies, ewww).

Tinkerbell is a little trickier. I recently read an article about Disney’s realization that the little fairy was one of their most popular characters. They're making plans to expand her place in the Disney universe. I’m not sure what that says about young girls today. For, you see, Tinkerbell is an anti-heroine if ever there was one. She’s not truly evil but neither is she a role model. She behaves in ways most commonly associated with uncharitable and/or sexist depictions of women. She’s fickle. She schemes. She’s selfish. She acts impulsively. She’s ruled by irrational and sometimes dangerous emotions (she even tries to kill off Wendy, her rival for Peter's love!). In short Tinkerbell is a mini mega-bitch.


Matters of influence are hard to pin down but isn't there a lot of Wendy (smart, resourceful but forcibly maternalized) in most action heroines? Tinkerbell certainly equates easily with many anti-heroines –a little wild, a lot dangerous, but still a true kick to watch and impossible to hate: think Catwoman and the like. The most obvious modern descendents of Wendy and that dusty fairy are Elizabeth Swann (love interest of Pirate boys / a natural leader herself) and Calypso (fickle imprisoned magical creature who creates havoc but also saves the day) in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. But I think you can even see a tiny bit of Wendy & Tink's DNA in rivals like the Kill Bill doppelganger amazons: there's The Bride (formidable, maternal, fond of storytelling) and Elle Driver (childish, irrational, obsessed with destroying her rival for her man’s affection –in this case it’s Bill in place of Peter)

It might be a stretch to make those last two connections but it amuses me. And you dear readers? Clap your hands if you believe in heroines and anti-heroines. Clap your hands.



READ MORE, COMMENT, SPREAD THE LOVE (of ass kicking women)

update: you can also look at the blog-a-thon by subject matter

fast women ~first blogs out of the gate
Coffee Coffee... on Cat Ballou, an action heroine that almost was
Screengrab chicks with guns -a top ten
Collecting Tokens Michelle Yeoh is one Supercop
Deep In Your Eyes on Mexican heroine "Lola the Truck Driver"
Film Otaku names the five best Asian action heroines of recent years
Damsel in Progress -The Long Kiss Goodnight schizo "mom" debate
Flickhead "Suck my dick!" said Demi to the Dude
Joes Movie Corner has a two-part contribution. You know Zhang Ziyi is there
Luke Hingis celebrates his fav' star turn: Cate Blanchett as Elizabeth
Wifely Steps takes lessons in feisty femininity from Elizabeth Swann
Cosmo Marius Miss World semi-finalists who played famous action heroines
My New Plaid Pants celebrates the only woman more badass than Ripley in Aliens. You heard that right... more badass than Ripley "Anytime, anywhere, man!"

career gals ~up at the crack of dawn, posting
Ultimate James Bond the double barreled women of Goldeneye
Way of Words "She's a Maniac..." Hollywood's nonthreatening action women
Odienator Streep puts accents into action w/ The River Wild
Pfangirl on the aborted Paul Verhoeven project Mistress of the Seas
Sell Me a Screenplay the top three heroines... and one that sucks
Stale Popcorns offers up haiku for hero(ine)s
Verging Writer Thelma & Louise took extraordinary actions
This Distracted Globe on the making of James Cameron's classic Aliens
Michael Parsons on Blade Runner's childwoman Pris
Forward to Yesterday "Inaction Heroines" on the three modes of women in studio-era action films and the women of Scaramouche


no nonsense ladies ~12:00 Noon sharp
Film Flap tips on creating an strong woman in your screenplay
As Little As... curates an exhibit of Indiana Jones's women
I am Screaming... Angelina Jolie/Lara Croft's secret weapon
Flick Filosopher Top Ten TV Action Heroines (sans Buffy!)
Low Resolution the good-bad pleasure of "Charly Baltimore"
Woodstock on Barbarella. Jane Fonda IS the queen of the galaxy
Victim of Time a tribute to Lola who ran ran ran
Rants... 'You call that scene stealing?' On Kill Bill's Gogo Yubari
popbytes a classic: Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor and the pilot episode of the new Terminator TV series

divas. they're fashionably late
Cinemathematics on "The Two Ripleys"
Heroine Content thinks Paycheck treats its heroine (Uma!) right
Lazy Eye Theaters heroines sans the action
Stinky Lulu "the makeover" in female action flicks
All About My Movies spotlights Ofelia in Pan's Labyrinth
White Board Markers "by the honor of Greyskull, she has no power"
Crumb by Crumb she roared. rampaged. got bloody satisfation
Collecting Tokens action heroines I've wanted to be
this is a blog about you "Ode to Elle"
Cinephilia is almost speechless over Lady Vengeance
Burbanked has a special edition of "womb to tomb"
Jester Tunes celebrates leather queen, gun totin' Trinity
The Listening Ear gets lost in Brigitte Lin's eyes
Dr. Insermini mi top 5 de heroínas
The Blossoming Stix Jada Pinkett Smith in A Low Down Dirty Shame
Cinebeats Tura Santana is "the real deal" in Faster Pussycat Kill Kill
Lazy Eye Theater Ode to O'Ren, the best role Lucy Liu will ever have

grande dames they make their own schedule thank you very much
Ultimate James Bond Ass Kicking Bond Girls
Goatdog "Also starring Errol Flynn..." on Olivia DeHavilland
Bright Lights After Dark Kill Hagen... some 79 years before Kill Bill
Gallery of the Absurd Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon reimagined

WHEW. That was fun. And I still haven't read them all. But I will. I only host a couple of huge blog-a-thons a year but there's always something happening at the film experience, one of the hardest working / most obsessive movie blogs in the known universe. So bookmark, link up, subscribe, tell your friends. And if you really like what you're reading at any of these participating blogs, do the same with them. Support fine blogging. [/plug plug]





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20:07 Twins (Buffy)

Twins - "20:07" Gemini Edition June 11th to June 20th
Twin screengrabs from the 20th minute and 7th second of related movies


Willow: What do you want to do?
Buffy: I don't know. What happened to Angel wasn't his fault.



Joyce: I am your mother and you will make time to explain yourself!
Buffy: I told you. I'm a vampire slayer.
Joyce: Well, I just don't accept that.
Buffy: Open your eyes mom. What do you think has been going on for the past two years?

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These screengrabs are from "Becoming" the two-part second season finale of The Greatest Television Show of All Time (more commonly referred to as Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Angel, Buffy's beau, was becoming evil again, Buffy's friends and family were becoming aware of their own mortality, Buffy was becoming aware of the gravity of her calling, and Buffy was in the process of becoming a pop culture legend.

Stay tuned for the Action Heroine Blog-a-thon this afternoon. I'm not writing about Buffy but I'm sure someone will be.

Stephanie Zinone Lives On!

There's a celebration of Grease 2 going on over at Moviezzz. Today marks the 25th anniversary of that Michelle Pfeiffer milestone (her first headlining movie role) and the sequel to Grease. Normally I would've contributed (it's my girl you know) but there's my own long since scheduled 'action heroine' blog-a-thon tomorrow and I'm too swamped. But if you love Stephanie & the Pink Ladies head on over and sco--ohh-ohh-ore tonii-iight.

The Prize Winner of San Fernando, California

Sometimes when I watch bad Julianne Moore films (of which there are *sniffle* many) I like to imagine her role as played by "Amber Waves" from Boogie Nights instead. Hey, why the hell not? They look like identical twins. Amber is also an award-winning actress. Amber has terribly inappropriate maternal instincts but then... so does Julie (onscreen at least)

This particular switcheroo 'survive a bad movie' technique always makes the film more entertaining.

The phrase Prize Winner takes on a whole new meaning.
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HBO

Today and tomorrow at Zoom In I'm discussing new HBO seasons. [Programming note: I'll cover more TV there than I do here for obvious reasons]. The latest, John From Cincinatti, was difficult to write about since I sometimes didn't know what I was watching. Jake Gyllenhaal's bff Austin Nichols plays the title character but the story is about a surfing family. The review is pretty lengthy and I still couldn't find a way to work this in: There's a couple of scenes in which I suspected that Rebecca DeMornay (playing the surfing family grandma) was doing some avant garde channeling of Ellen Requiem Burstyn. I closed my eyes to make sure. Yup, "Sara Goldfarb"'s vocal cadences, accent, rage... it's uncanny. And then it vanishes again. It would've freaked me out more but it's just a drop of weirdness in a whole bucket of nutty. (the review)

20:07 Twins (Psycho)

"20:07" Gemini Edition June 11th to June 20th
Twin screengrabs from the 20th minute and 7th second of related movies

Salesman: Go ahead spin it around the block.
Marion Crane: It looks fine. How much would it be with my car?
Salesman: You mean you don't want the usual day and a half to think it over --you are in a hurry, aren't you? Someone chasing you?
Marion Crane: Of course not.

The TONY Awards

Another year, another TONY Awards. The most memorable part of the evening for me was that it felt like Hugh Jackman was actually hosting even though he turned the gig down this year because there he was during every commercial break... striking curious poses in commercials for the Vegas set musical (?) TV series Viva Laughlin. How does he find the time? I'm assuming his is a recurring guest role rather than a lead... though the commercials lean heavily on his star magnetism.

Anyway, some thoughts on the night

Swoosie Kurtz (yay!), Harvey Fierstein (it aint televisions gayest night of the year w/out Harvey), Audra McDonald (a TONY goddess), Billy Crudup and Christine Ebersole (happy winners)

Wins: Best Musical Spring Awakening won just about everything it was up for except costumes (Grey Gardens) and sets (Mary Poppins) and acting. The nine hour Tom Stoppard trilogy The Coast of Utopia was even stronger in the Best Play categories. What didn't it win? The most deserving acting prizes went to the Beales of Grey Gardens. And I hear that Billy Crudup was sensational in Utopia as a Russian intellectual so good on him.

Most Skeletal: Where has Claire Danes gone? I'm glad her copresenter didn't slice himself open on her protuding bones. Can't find a suitably scary picture but I'm sure you'll see one soon.

Best Dressed: Angela Lansbury looked so classy.

Worst Dressed: Marcia Gay Harden, Christine Ebersole, and Melina whatshername from TV (pictured right with Jane Krakowski whom she is entirely unworthy to touch -- begone Melina!) The latter looked like she had a massive coke can tab hanging around her neck. Ewwww

Best Speeches: Mary Louise Wilson (Grey Gardens) and Julie White (The Little Dog Laughed) gave great acceptance speech. Funny and aware that it's a television show and not all about them. You still have to think about the audience when you're having your moment.

Worst Speech: Christine Ebersole (Grey Gardens) was a deserving winner and I realize she's had the trophy in the bag for the whole theater season but this was the very definition of over rehearsed. I felt like I was in her bathroom staring into her mirror.

Best Performance: Audra McDonald's warm and spirited performance of "Raunchy" did the trick. I wanted to buy tickets to 110 in the Shade immediately. I'm also surprised to say that Fantasia's Color Purple number was surprisingly well acted. Why surprisingly? Well she was pretty terrible as herself in that Lifetime movie --not that I watched the whole thing.

Most Hilariously Appropriate Co-Presenter Pairing: Kevin Spacey with Jane Krakowski. That's a whole heap o' self love & smug right there. (I luv ya Jane! Don't be mad)

The Bad: They dissed Raul Esparza (pictured, left) yet again for the musical actor prize? Awful. He was so good in Company and he so obviously and desperately wanted to win. But the TONY voters are true starf***ers and David Hyde Pierce used to be on TV. It's maddening. When will Raul ever get the trophies he keeps on deserving ?

Best Speech in Worst Circumstances: David Hyde Pierce. It's nice that he's finally out of the closet --though it woulda been nicer while he was on Frasier for all those years --and it's nice that it was a truly sincere and modest nod to the other nominees (particularly Raul) but it still makes me crazy that Raul lost, damnit.

The Ugly: Shunning the utterly brilliant duo Kiki & Herb (pictured, right) for ventriloquism? That is just truly square. Like the Emmys and the Oscars, The TONY voters often have embarrassing blind spots and a lack of sophistication about their own artform.

The Curious: I haven't yet seen Spring Awakening and I've heard people say it's the new Rent. But I gotta tell you: I thought they meant that it was the new Rent in the rock musical way. I didn't realize it was the new Rent in the whole sense. A centerpiece number where horny young boys and girls dance on furniture and sing about masturbation? I've seen this before: VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!

Day of Rest

shhhhh.... Anne is sleeping. Actually she's overslept but mind your own business!

Tonight: Don't forget the TONY Awards
Coming Soon Right Here: Action Heroine madness (tues), a special edition of 20:07, All That Jazz, reader request, advice from Hollywood and more...

Finger Linkin' Good

Unmissable
Gallery of the Absurd continues to be absurdly brilliant. See for yourself.

Also...
Solace in Cinema on the trailer for 30 Days of Night. I hope this is hardcore inventive/scary like Near Dark which was so 'finger lickin' good' --I've discussed my anticipation for this movie before. I'm crossing my fingers that it's good. I think we've had enough zombie movies for awhile: back to vampires please. They're classic
Ray Pride on Once --a sweet review. This movie does totally set up camp in one's heart. And plans to stay. I wrote about it too but this is my fav piece on this great movie.
Spinner gayest moments in rock history
Walter Chaw on 10 movies that changed the way he looked at film
Blah, Blah, Black Sheep hilarious metrobus conversation
But I Always... very brief thoughts on PotC: At Worlds End

and still more...
Michelle Pfeiffer interview at Good Housekeeping. But ARGH! contrary to Liz Smith's statement It has not been 2 years since Pfeiffer was onscreen --it's been 5. Doesn't she have a fact checker?
Flick Filosopher still fighting the fight in re: to Knocked Up. It's been pretty interesting to follow along. It's remarkable (and depressing!) to me how film writers can be vilified for a difference of opinion... Remember last year when Nick hated Apocalypto? It wasn't long before the groupthink fanboys were getting personal in their attacks. It seems to me that if a critic isn't occassionally willing to swim against the tide, they have no business being critics. The number one requirement of the job should be having opinions that aren't market or box office or groupthink or hype formed.

and finally...
Perhaps in celebration of Gay Pride Month, film experience reader Adam Waldowski composed a list of the LGBT Acting nominees in Oscar history. Interesting stuff. Any thoughts?

TONY Time

Just a heads up: You can now listen to a TONY Awards chat with Ashley and me over @ Radio Allegro. The podcast directly before that with Ashley @ the Drama League Awards is really worth a listen for theater fans, too. He has brief chats with cast members from Mary Poppins and Company as well as gorgeous goddess Audra McDonald. Plus 'Niles Frasier' himself, David Hyde Pierce.

Red Dust (1932)

Lord almighty. How is it that no one ever talks about this movie? Hot. I'd never seen it because I was never particularly crazy about Clark Gable (It Happened One Night aside), Jean Harlow, Gene Raymond or Mary Astor ...who make up the love quadrangle. I watched it a few days ago and I still feel like I need a cold shower.

Red Dust is about a scoundrel who runs a rubber plantation. He gets involved with both a floozy and the wife of a new employee. Harlow is a completely shameless ho in this. Her very first shot finds her in bed in a slip with hair dishevelled --it's a scorcher.* I'd previously found her pretty fug as blonde bombshells go but that won me over. The performance that follows is lively and worth loving. There's an even more salacious shot later in the movie: Clark Gable reclined on his elbows with chest out -- very cock of the walk. Mary Astor plays a buttoned up married woman but once she gets wet (no really, there's a monsoon) she lets Gable in. Everyone behaves very badly and enjoys it very much. There's even a gay joke. (These pre-code movies are crazy!) It's too bad that it's marred by '30s era racism but otherwise this is one satisfying, swift, and steamy star vehicle.

*I would've included screengrabs but -- tech difficulties. Now you'll have to seek the damn thing out yourself. And that's a good thing

Cinemarati (RIP)

I don't know if any of you are aware but Cinemarati, the film critics organization that I belonged to, has folded. I never joined any other. I don't write enough traditional reviews for OFCS membership requirements (one a week last time I checked...which was a loooong time ago), favoring free form movie thoughts and the specificity of various cinematic obsessions. The other organizational option was the NYFCO which creeps me out a little --primarily because I suspect they purposefully (one might say smartly) named themselves that to ride on the coattails of the NYFCC, knowing that the media and public would get lazy about telling the difference. So now I am a lone wolf again. No stamp of approval from any organization. Just Nathaniel doin' his thing.

It's weird how new membership in a group can do things for you --even though you're exactly the same writer with or without it. My Cinemarat' status gave me access to post reviews on rotten tomatoes way back in the day --even though I didn't use it much. Far more crucially it provided me with a wonderful set of peers and insta-friends, many of them conveniently located right here in NYC. I'm not exaggerating to say that I don't want to imagine my life without having met some of these people, particularly Gabriel (whom you know as ModFab) and Nick (of Nick's Flick Picks who left the Cinemarati party before everyone passed out. That boy got good timing). I lurve those guys.

But all good things come to an end. Particular good things which have long since lived out their initial purpose. Cinemarati's was to build a film community on the web (now they're a dime a dozen!) and raise the reputation of online film writing (which is no longer a bastard child given the fact that it's now new media). So bye bye!

Now Playing 06/08

What's this? I've actually written two reviews this week [*gasp*] Please try and remain calm.

L I M I T E D

Belle Toujours Manoel de Oliveira directs Bulle Ogier as Severine in this "sequel" to the deservedly legendary Bunuel picture Belle de Jour (1967). Has he committed cinephile sacrilege? If you've never seen Belle de Jour with Catherine Deneuve in all her 60s glory, put it at the top of your must-watch list... immediately. You'll be glad you did.

You're Gonna Miss Me A doc on influential schizophrenic junkie musician Roky Erickson

La Vie En Rose Marion Cotillard mimics Edith Piaf in this biopic that's gunning for a Best Actress nomination come January. She's packing loads of ammo (My Full Review @ The Film Experience)

W I D E

Hostel Part II -Nikki Finke recently raised a ruckus when she urged people not to see this (on moral grounds given its status as "torture porn") when she hadn't seen it herself. The debate about this movie and that subset of horror is raging all over the blogosphere. I have nothing to add to the conversation since I don't like gore and don't get why people find pleasure in it. I'm neither interested nor qualified to discuss. But yeah, I fall on the prudish side here. It's not an exaggeration to say that I wouldn't even see if it you offered to pay me a hundred bucks. I don't need those images in my head.

Surf's Up -You know how totally uncool it is to tell people not to see a movie that you haven't seen? I'm totally uncool! Please don't go see this: Hollywood must learn that you can't make a movie about penguins every single year. Trend: please meet your expiration date.

Oceans 13 - "The math is hard to do in Oceans Thirteen. Danny Ocean (George Clooney) is back for film number three. He still has his ten trusted men, the “Oceans’ Eleven”. The poster has twelve guys. That’s your original eleven plus their old rival Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia), which makes twelve. Divide them in half to see who’s famous enough to get their names strewn above the title..." (My Full Review @ Zoom In)

What are you seeing this weekend? Comments on the reviews welcome.

20:07 (Miss Wang)

Each morning a screenshot from the 20th minute and 7th second of a movie


(He is from Japan and her father does not approve. The breakup. She never utters a word)

her boyfriend: Can you tell me what you feel?
Do you like me? Or not?
I'm scared to hear your answer but I have to ask anyway.
Leave with me...

Goodbye.
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Say What? Evening

I asked you to amuse us with dialogue or caption for a still from the forthcoming Evening featuring Patrick Wilson and Claire Danes. A lot of silliness ensued. And then I forgot to repost with the winning entries. My bad.

Here are zee winners. From Vince...


And from Anonymous....


I don't even know why this last one is funny but it made me laugh every time I read it. Thank you to everyone who played.

20:07 (Should've Listened to Al Gore)

each morning a screenshot from the 20th minute and 7th second of a movie


[beep. beep. beep]

How Very Random

Simpsons Blog-a-Thon -esoteric rabbit, eddie copeland, lazy eye theater and more blogs on the legendary toon family
Oceans 3 popbytes has Brad, George, and Matt on hands and knees for their premiere moment
Harvey Fierstein also had a birthday yesterday. Can't believe I missed that.
Arjan & Erasure an interview w/ the band that never gets old


too late for the Star Wars blog-a-thon, but worth a look:
Luke Skywalker is Dirk Diggler -a fun mashup at Fraktastic
Wicked Crispy with a bunch of cuter than cute SW illustrations.

Hump Day Hottie: Jason Isaacs

I thought I'd recognize a birthday boy for today's weekly eye candy --no, not me. I wish. It's time to celebrate Jason Isaacs, frequently employed but rarely discussed actor, who is 44 today. He's hotter than he was at 43 which was hotter than he was at 42 which was hotter than he was at 41 which... well, you get the picture. We should all be so lucky.


It's sad to me that there's not any specific performance I can point to to justify my love for this Jewish actor from Liverpool but I blame that on the kind of movies he ends up in (Elektra --ewww!) the company he keeps (Paul WS Anderson, director of 'classics' like Resident Evil is reportedly his best friend and they work together a lot) and the lack of diversity in his roles: filmmakers love him in villain mode which you can see from his gigs in Harry Potter (as Lucius Malfoy), Dragonheart (as Lord Felton) and The Patriot (as Col. Tavington) among others.

I personally don't care for him as Lucius Malfoy but I blame that on the silly blonde wig and the lack of depth to all the roles in that magical franchise. The point is: It's never Jason's fault! I can hate the hair but I can't hate Jason. It helps that he has a sense of humor and calls it "my Paris Hilton wig". Mr. Isaacs seems at peace with his sinister Hollywood typecasting niche saying in interviews

There is a streak of cruelty in me...

Now he doesn't always play a villain. Sometimes he's a priest, soldier, or the husband of a more famous actress. But more often than not those piercing pale eyes, that dark receding hairline, and his dangerously masculine vibe inspire evil thoughts... and thus, perhaps, evil roles. But whether he's in buttoned up or savage mode --or both (as he was in his dual role as Mr. Darling / Captain Hook in Peter Pan, 2003) --I'll take him.

Wouldn't you?


[editors note: These photos are borrowed from two great Isaacs fansites: here and here]

Regarding Your Request...

ABSOLUTELY NOT

I don't care if it is your birthday.

sincerely,
The Bening

You're The Poo. I Took a Whiff.

Hey Matt,

Thank you Mr Film Experiences so much for supporting me when everyone else is being so freaking mean. Happy Birthday! But... me: seriously what is their problem? Just because I don't get my teeth fixed. Just because they misread my dreamy languor as lazy-ass 'I'll be in my trailer' acting. I'm going to show them all when I bust out with my "Heart of Glass" How come only you and that girl from Cinematical who isn't at Cinematical anymore like me? This sucks!

They're all just jealous because I tapped Jake so many times. And could still again ... but choose not to! Eat it haters.

xoxo, Kiki
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A Birthday Invitation

Nathaniel,

For your special day I thought we should call a truce. What do you say?

In fact, I'd love for you to come visit. I don't live in a trailer park anymore and my new place is spacious --one might say eternal in its square footage. I don't have airconditioning but I think you'll feel right at home!

And speaking of home. I've arranged two special gifts to be delivered to your apartment this very afternoon. Gerard Butler in a loin... ha ha. Gotcha! No, this is something you'll like even more.

First: a box set of all my great performances. Everything is there! The Core, The Gift, Affair of the Necklace, Freedom Writers, The Reaping... even The Next Karate Kid. And second: The personal touch...


Renée Zellweger herself will be delivering them to you along with a singing telegram (music and lyrics by --well, that'll be a surprise). I know how you Renées song & dance stylings.

Happy Birthday Asshole!

love, Hilary

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20:07 (I'm a Poet)

Each morning a screenshot from the 20th minute and 7th second of a movie


"A passion for art never made anyone rich. I don't know why but poverty is always a sister to genius."
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Great Danes

Der er et yndigt land

I have been soooo busy today but I didn't want to curl up for some zzzzs without recognizing that it's Denmark's national day today. You'll recall I gave a shout out to Norway last month. I figured Danish readers would be depressed --you know how those Scandinavians get -- if I didn't also send them love. In truth, cinematically speaking, they deserve it even more. Plus: my ancestry is Danish so...

Here are some of my favorite Danes


Denmark also brought us Isak Dinesen aka Karen Blixen aka Meryl Streep in 1985 in Out of Africa so 'mange tak' Finally we must give thanks (indirectly but still) for Scarlett Johansson and Viggo Mortenson. I think you'll all agree that someone needs to be thanked heartily and often for that.

DVD Releases

new
Maxed Out I'm still scared to see this documentary horror movie on America's credit card debt. But maybe it'll be less scary in my living room than in a dark theater.
Norbit Eddie Murphy smothered in latex, Oscarless.
(Murphy fans: Coming To America also gets a special today)
Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael I saw this in theaters in 1990 when it was released to cash in on the Winona Ryder craze. Beetlejuice and Heathers had created her fanbase. Edward Scissorhands and Mermaids were just two months away and would bring said fanbase to fever pitch, especially once paired with the Johnny Depp romance. I remember literally nothing about this particular movie other than a) I was excited to see it and b) I was surprised to find that Noni did not play a character named Roxy Carmichael.

for Oscar Watchers
The Sand Pebbles The Steve McQueen Navy drama that was nominated for (and lost) eight Oscars including Best Picture and Best Actor --it was McQueen's only nomination.
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert --this hilarious Aussie drag comedy, already a classic, gets a special edition called "extra frills". Remember when it famously won the costume Oscar? One of its designers accepted the statue in a dress made of gold credit cards. Pretty impressive stuff. The accomplishment is even more impressive when you realize how great the costume category was that year. Queen Margot and Bullets Over Broadway would've been likely (and worthy) winners in other years. If I ran the world that would not have been Priscilla's only nomination either. Terence "no more f***ing ABBA" Stamp for best actor! Can I get backup on that?

other special editions
Jackass the Movie / Jackass Number Two
I have actually seen both of these (surprise!). The first was a rude hilarious blast to watch with friends. The second bored me silly. And I even saw it with the same friends. And I even still love them just as much. I thought this review @ Pajiba was classic: more entertaining than the movie.
Meatballs Bill Murray plays camp counselor in this popular '79 comedy. As camp comedies though, I gotta have Wet Hot American Summer. I just gotta have it.

be very afraid
Elektra (unrated directors cut) and Fantastic Four (extended)
These movies were bad enough in theatrical form. Now they're even longer? Sometimes technology is very very cruel. DVDs make movie watching so much easier but they also cause this sort of indulgence. Oh the humanity...

20:07 (Dinner Guest)

Each morning a screenshot from the 20th minute and 7th second of a film

Was that funny? I never know when I'm being funny. Whenever I try to be I lay the bomb of all time.

Love Hitchcock movies? There's a lot more on this one, Rope, right here.

Monday Monologue: "Miss Jean Brodie"

What follows from the 1969 film The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie is not technically a monologue. For Miss Brodie, a progressive middle school teacher in a conservative girls school, invites interjections into her speeches, if not actual participation. dialogue. I was tempted to publish this a day early and call it for a Sunday Soliloquy but it's not really that either. For Miss Brodie isn't speaking directly to herself.

Or is she? What I like best about Maggie Smith's Oscar winning performance --aside from the fact that it belongs to a favored subgenre of drama: 'women who lie to themselves'-- is that you aren't really sure who her speeches are directed at. Is it for the students as she claims or are her eccentric teaching methods aimed at her enemies or merely building blocks for her own personal edification? She considers herself successful if her girls reflect her own ideals back at her. She wants mirrors rather than free thinkers. Any non reflective surface will not become part of the Brodie set, her favored students.

After a few minutes of opening credits Miss Brodie is in her classroom, greeting the new students. The film itself is also laying groundwork, introducing the three key sycophant students: Mary, Sandy and Jenny.

Little girls. I am in the business of putting old heads on young shoulders and all my pupils are the crème de la crème. Give me a girl at an impressionable age and she is mine for life. You girls are my vocation. If I am to receive a proposal of marriage tomorrow from the Lord Lyons King of Arms, I would decline it. I am dedicated to you in my prime --and my summer in Italy has convinced me that I am truly in my prime.

Mary McGregor, you are new to this institution. It is possible you will hear my teaching methods decried in certain quarters as being unsuitable for a conservative school like Marcia Blaine, that is to say a school dedicated to the status quo. Can anyone define status quo? …Sandy?

Sandy, who will become Brodie's confidante, answers "Does it mean staying the same Miss Brodie?"

Precisely. Staying the same to the point of petrification. p-e-t-r-i-f-i-c-a-t-i-o-n, petrification. I do not intend to devote my prime to petrification. Prop up your books in case of intruders. If there are intruders we are doing our history. But we will not do our history. Can anyone tell me who is the greatest Italian painter?

Jenny, the teachers pet, responds quickly "Leonardo daVinci, Miss Brodie" Her answer is hilariously swatted away. For "greatest" must equal the opinion of the dominating classroom personality.

That is incorrect Jenny. The answer is Giotto. He is my favorite.

Here Miss Brodie spots a photo on the wall that she doesn't like and will now cover with a print of Giotto's work, a more properly reflective surface.

Observe, little girls: Stanley Baldwin who got in as prime minister and got out again ere long. Our headmistress Miss Mackay retains him on the walls because she believes in the slogan "safety first" Safety does not come first. Goodness, truth and beauty come first. One's prime brings one insight into these things. One's prime is the moment one is born for. You little girls must be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time it may occur and live it to the full.

"Season of mist and mellow fruitfulness."

I wanted to tell you of a moment in my life when I was very young… younger even then the man himself. His name was Hugh. I fell deeply in love with Hugh in the last year of the war but he fell on Flanders field…

By this point Miss Brodie is deep in her own thrall, her students a captive but enraptured audience. At first introduction I thought Maggie Smith was playing Miss Brodie too arch and forceful, the voice is constantly soaring and undulating for dramatic effect. Maggie Smith is painting an aggressively hard portrait. But by the time the credits rolled, the purpose of her impenetrably stiff manner is clear: for who is more petrified, more devoted to staying the same, than Miss Brodie herself? I'm betting she gave the same speech last semester and demanded the same answers. She has always been convinced that she's in her prime.

This & That

First things first: Over at Zoom In [link fixed] I'm sharing thoughts on last night's MTV Movie Awards which I'll be honest: I'm too old and too much of a film bitch for.

This Weekend: I saw Pirates: At World's End (meh. But at least Johnny had more to do than he did in Dead Man's Chest and therefore it was better than the second one) and Knocked Up (in regard to which: I am in a teensy minority of not all that impressed. I can live with that. I've never been too concerned w/ majority opinion anyway. I'm still deciding if i'm thumbs down in a very positive way --it was really funny-- or thumbs up in a negative way). What did you see this weekend?

Also: That sidebar soundtrack jukebox has five new choices for your listening pleasure.

• Christine Lavin's Attainable Love -an actressexual anthem than many of you probably haven't heard. She's my favorite folk singer
• Rufus Wainwright's "Oh What a World" -I love this song so much. His line readings make me giggle. I particular love "men reading fashion magazines. straight men..." the ellipsis kills me. Is it a question, a head scratching shrug, or a story untold, a joke? God I love Rufus.
• Erykah Badhu's "Back in the Day/ Puff" from Dave Chappelle's Block Party. There's a post over at Jurgen Fauth's Muckworld about revisiting the movie that I liked.
• Thompson Twins "If You Were Here" which is a tune I always liked and was a staple of 80s teen movie soundtracks
  
• Sapna Anthi's "Chiayya Chiayya Bollywood Joint" from Inside Man
  

20:07 (When You're a Jet)

Each morning a screenshot from the 20th minute and 7th second of a movie

So what are we gonna do, huh, buddy boys? I'll tell you what we're gonna do...

Day of Rest

Links Foster

<--- just noticed this
my blogfriend Boyd at European Films has a wonderful exclusive photo gallery up from Cannes 07. Including shots of Asia Argento (pictured left which he gave me permission to snatch), Diego Luna, the jury, and several international filmmakers... Check it out if you haven't yet seen it.

Readables
Moviehole Battlestar Galactica --next season, the 4th, is the last
Cinephilia writes a brief open letter to Quentin Tarantino
Coming Soon announced a new dramatic project for Helen Mirren, Gaza, which reunites her with some of the Prime Suspect team. Now this is something you do to follow up an Oscar win --not freaking National Treasure 2. Ugh.
As Little As... I didn't know Patrick Stockstill, AMPAS historian had died.

The Brave One trailer
I had a hunch that this would be a good role for Jodie Foster --and even predicted her for another nomination in the 'early bird' Oscar guesswork. I think the good role hunch is correct. The Oscar nom... who knows. The Brave One just might might be a, like 28 Weeks Later , a genre piece doubling as political allegory. We'll see. I get that vibe a teensy bit from this trailer but it's possible that I'm projecting based on Neil Jordan sitting in the director chair. Before you watch you should probably know that the trailer shows too much. Be warned.

Todd & Julie Redux

Iconoclast auteur Todd Hayne and god herself Julianne Moore work together about once every six years. They started with [safe] (1995), miraculously repeated that brilliance with Far From Heaven (2002), and are now back together (albeit in a minor way) for 2007.

I'm more than a little excited. (This post is just an excuse to show you these movie posters again or for the first time depending on where you've been in your internet travels)

Julianne is sadly not one of the multiple Bob Dylans of I'm Not There directed by Haynes (previously discussed here) But she does appear in the film. To make up for the non-lead role there she's finally got a part worthy of her gift again in Savage Grace. You can see all sorts of divisive reaction to it if you chase the links from greencine but word on her performance is quite good. Indiewire calls her "deliciously evil". Savage Grace is by Tom Kalin whose major claim to fame is directing Swoon in the early 90s, which was a Leopold and Loeb dramatization. (It's worth a look if you haven't seen it or aren't up on that once vital emerging queer cinema --Todd Haynes, Gregg Araki, and others all emerged around the same time. What heady days those were. Now there's mostly auteurless dumb comedy where provocative GLBT movies used to be.) Haynes had a brief acting role in Swoon and both he and Tom worked on the writing team of Cindy Sherman's Office Killer.

This is all a long way of saying that I love it when Julie travels with the intellectual queer cinema brigade. Moore please! It's just such a better fit for her than playing plot foil to Nicolas Cage. The only thing cutting into my anticipatory enthusiasm is the realization that I'll have to wait until 2013 for a fourth Todd & Julie pairing. sigh

Clocked Up

IMDB lists the running time of Knocked Up at 129 minutes. I think that's a typo. I'm not gonna exaggerate and say that it was of Berlin Alexanderplatz proportions... but it was certainly in Lawrence of Arabia territory, wasn't it? 229... that's my guess. I felt like I was gonna start showing by the end of the movie.

Friday Lunch Chat

Well, that was an experiment. Not a lot of people showed but the system was a little hard to use. we'll try again next week with a different chat box and if more people show we might do it regular like... Thanks to Cal and Lucas and Smoosh and Cutie & Sweetie or whatever the hell your names were.

20:07 (not us, not the Jensens)

Each morning a screenshot from the 20th minute and 7th second of a movie

Babe, tonight in church in that Laura Ashley dress? You were magnificent. And thanks for helping me in the kitchen --don't know what I'd do without you, kitten.

I am so proud to share a birthday with crazy ass Sandra Bernhard (that's next week on June 6th) I didn't make an Amazon Wish List or anything but you could always send me (hint) a (hint) little (hint) donation. I'm so very subtle with the hinting.

What's your favorite piece of WITHOUT YOU I'M NOTHING ?
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Cannes Spanking / Belated Thoughts

I recently received an e-mail that chastised me for typing about Sally Field more than Cannes during the past couple of weeks. I don't feel bad about this exactly -- I talk about whatever filmstuff is on my mind: Gidget was on a loop. I don't claim to understand my own brain, but that's what I got to work with -- but I do understand the frustration if some of you were expecting more film festival coverage. My line of reasoning in ignoring it was partially that other people were actually there (*sigh* & bastards!) and would provide better coverage. If you'd like me to go next year, I'll need substantially more cash ... so get to donating.

But I am talking about it a little bit over at Zoom In. What prompted this brain vomit a week after Cannes was news? Some unholy mental mix of "On the Lot", Joss Whedon, Hollywood Elsewhere, Foreign Film Oscars, sexism, and Toni Collette in frilly dresses. I kid you not.

You'll have to read it to make sense of that tease.
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Now Playing (06/01)

L I M I T E D

Day Watch It's a sponsors (sidebar) so click away to learn more. I'm not going to pretend that I totally got Night Watch, the first in this popular Russian franchise but it had enough gonzo visual chutzpah to keep the eye busy while the mind was going 'huh?' -- Anyway, I like vampires
Rise: Blood Hunter Lucy Liu is a a vampire and a vampire assasin. Hmmm, we've seen this before ? I love that the trailer says "from the producer of The Grudge and the writer of Gothika" --these are pluses? But then again... vampires (its a programming theme this week, no?)
I'm Reed Fish If you're still wearing black because Gilmore Girls went bye bye, you can see Alexis Bledel @ the movies. Reed Fish (also the screenwriter's name) is played by Jay Baruchel and the film also features Victor VargasRasuk and Schuyler Fisk
Pierrepoint: The Last Hangman Timothy Spall stars as an executioner in the 40s and 50s as public opinion begins to turn against capital punishment. Also starring Juliet Stevenson (who doesn't work enough --or at least doesn't get enough worthy roles considering how freaking brilliant she was in Truly, Madly Deeply many moons ago)

W I D E

Gracie When I cry in my pillow each night begging for Elisabeth "Sera" Shue to be in more movies... well, this isn't really what I had in mind --Anyone can play the mom. It's another inspirational sports drama. Aren't those supposed to come out in the first quarter of the year? Isn't that their niche slot? Bitching aside, this is apparently a personal Shue family effort. It's inspired by true events from their lives, Elisabeth's husband Davis Guggenheim (An Inconvenient Truth --and yes it is he who won the Oscar, not Al Gore) is directing. Her brother Andrew (Melrose Place) is co-producing and co-starring. So I wish them well. Although I still really must rebitch: if the whole family is going to rally to make a movie can't Elisabeth Shue get a great lead role instead of playing mom to Carly Schroeder?
Knocked Up I normally don't care that much about box office (too depressing to get invested) but I'm mighty curious as to how well this original comedy will fare in a franchise-overflowing summer. Katherine Heigl stars as the preggers one night stand of Seth Rogen. You knew that already
Mr. Brooks Remember that vampiric theme: For this thriller, they've raised Demi Moore, Kevin Costner, and William Hurt from the dead. As headliners! It's 1987!!!