Thursday, November 15, 2007

Are You the One They Call Beowulf?

Things I never expected to see in a major motion picture:
  • Angelina Jolie reprising her Alexander role in full: snakey visual motif, unplaceable Dracula's daughter accent, and birth mother to killing machine
  • Ray Winstone with Brad Pitt's body
  • A lengthy animated fight scene wherein the warrior is buck naked
  • A dragon battle that's actually thrilling (the movies have never been able to do dragons well --this one made me believe that a film version of the Temeraire series is a good idea )
  • A hide the salami scene that's almost as funny as the famous nude Austin Powers sequence
  • Crispin Glover all sympathetic instead of just freaky
And yet, there they were, all of these improbable things in one place: Robert Zemeckis' gargantuan goofy motion capture spectacle Beowulf.

Read my full review at Zoom-In Online


The Jaded Armchair Reviewer said...

I'm surprised you didn't mention Angelina coming out of the water in high heels that could rival those of the Devil Wears Prada poster's.

RJ said...

Yeah..I still can't get with this mocap. The dead eyes are just too strange

Boyd said...

I want Zemeckis to do a make-over of my body too.... pretty please?!

Anonymous said...

I had no idea Crispin Glover was playing Grendel. I want to see this film now, all because of what I read in a review. That never happens.

Isn't it Crispin Glover that has some kind of psycho vendetta against Steven Spielberg, though? He sued him (and others) over how he was used in the "Back To The Future" sequels, and then I read that he drops his name in pretty much every interview he does saying that Spielberg is a corporate whore, etc. Seems odd that Spielberg's best buddy (Zemeckis) would cast him in this.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why they couldn't have made it live. I mean if they were going to go that far.

Glenn Dunks said...

Why did Monster House look like a regular animated film though? Cause it did. But the ads for Beowulf make the animation look so hokey and it looks just like a computer game.

John P. said...

thejack, Glover doesn't really have a 'vendetta' against Spielberg. His lawsuit was settled ages ago (and incidentally it set an industry precedent forbidding the use of actor's likenesses and voices without their consent). He still talks about the 'corporately-funded media' a lot, but mostly as a contrast to his own films, both of which have been independently funded and distributed.

Beyond the 'weirdo' tag he actually comes across as a pretty thoughtful guy who's passionate about his art.

John P. said...

Oh, and evidently there's no bad blood between him and Zemeckis.


well it does look like a video game but as cheese goes its pretty striking looking.

what can I say. I enjoyed myself though it has massive flaws and it CGI is not the right medium for realistic looking humans: that's called live action.

maybe i was just in a good mood. my movie companion hated it.

Anonymous said...

I remembered reading that Crispin Glover hated Spielberg, and then I found this on Spielberg's Wikipedia page:

"American artist and actor Crispin Glover also criticised Spielberg in his 2005 essay What Is It?. Among Glover’s accusations are that Spielberg purchased a sled used in Orson Welles' 1941 film Citizen Kane for $50,000 but refused to fund Welles' would-be final film, that he received money from the United States government to promote his personal religious and cultural beliefs and that he exploited tragedy for personal gain in the film Schindler's List."

(It did have a link to the article but the link i dead now)

Anonymous said...

I have seen the trailer and it was amazing. It seems to get my interst to watch it.

Anonymous said...

Let's face it, he did some pretty good work with Miss Jolie as well. Her breasts are way the hell back up there, and all of a sudden she has an ass, and calf muscles?
Zemeckis make over.


yeah, the height of Jolie's breasts was a little distracting. I almost felt at one point that they were coming out of her body parallel to the top of her shoulders rather than the proper bicep friendly place.

but as for the calf muscles. put anyone in heels that high and they suddenly have them ;)

Anonymous said...

"Beyond the 'weirdo' tag he actually comes across as a pretty thoughtful guy who's passionate about his art."

While Crispin comes across to his fans as thoughtful and he is definitely passionate about his
art... but he's a tightwad and is
prone to hissy fits and acting like
a child when he is unhappy at the smallest things. He is definitely up there as the most difficult celebrity I've ever had to deal with and I doubt I'd do it again.