Friday, November 05, 2010

50 Appropriate Ways to Celebrate Tilda Swinton.

The fabulous Tilda Swinton is now a half century old young timeless -- old, young... these concepts are too limited when it comes to the greats. But fact: On November 5th, 1960 Tilda Swinton first came into the world. So a tribute is most definitely in order.

50 Appropriate Ways 
to Celebrate Swintonian Greatness




  • Be a genius.
  • Dye your hair white blonde... or bright red.
  • Be colorful.
  • Imagine you have deep Scottish roots.
  • Create an eccentric personal film festival.
  • Attend any film festival near you.
  • Have tremendous commitment to your art. 
  • Exhibit tremendous loyalty to your friends.
  • Watch a Derek Jarman film immediately. (This should have been first. Just pretend you did it first.)


  • Stand naked in front of the mirror with your goodies tucked. 
  • Say "Same person. No different at all. Just a different sex"
  • That's right. Watch ORLANDO (1993) again. It's so good.
  • Break the fourth wall with Jimmy Sommerville blasting behind you as soundtrack.
  • Clone yourself.
  • Enjoy your own company.






  • Pretend your children (or niece & nephews) are twins. Call them "Xavier" and "Honor" all day. 
  • Invite a friend over and do a crazy photoshoot. You photograph so well! 
  • Pose for a talented painter.
  • Become a muse for multiple creative types: fashion, film, art, music. Anything!
  • Experiment with an open relationship.
  • Wear attention-grabbing shoes.




















  • Offer a young bratty boy some Turkish delight.
  • Wear a shapeless baggy black dress to an important event.
  • Don't wear makeup just because people expect you to.
  • Pretend you've just won an Oscar. (You don't have to pretend that you deserved it. You sure did.) 



  • Learn another language. 
  • Be cultured. 
  • Join the 8½ Foundation.
  • Complain to everyone who will listen that Tilda should have won a second Oscar for Julia last year. 
  • Remember that art is more important than money. (Only sell out temporarily in short doses... even when the offers come flooding in.)
  • Be androgynous.
  • And/or appreciate the androgynous in others. 





  • "Do not fade. Do not grow old."
  • Never lack for imagination.
  • Be your own person. There is only one you.










*

16 comments:

Unknown said...

I actually first saw Orlando recently when it made its return to cinemas. Didn't love it. The beginning was very interesting, loved Quentin Crisp as Elizabeth, but the middle just dragged and was not dramatically compelling... I found it much more of a "thesis" than a fully fleshed out film... much like I'm Not There, except without the Dylan songs. For whose who loved it, did I miss something?

LOVE Swinton, though. She should have at least 2 Oscars right now. But we're lucky, Oscars being what they are, that she was able to snag 1.

James T said...

I was a bit turned off by the shoes (I saw a dead animal instead of an impressive fashion choice) but..

Happy Birthday Tilda! You live for art and that's the right way to live!

I want a "We Need to Talk About Kevin" trailer now!

And a confirmation that we'll see you having sex.... um, star in that movie with Huppert.

You look so much younger than when you used to look older than... you're really an enigma!

Magicub said...

Pretend you attend school with princess Diana

Anonymous said...

In what movie did she sleep for a week in that glass box?

/3rtfu11 said...

I have re-purposed two furniture pieces in my bedroom bone white. The traditional nightstand has a satin finish, while the model piece has a lacquer one. Didn’t do these while thinking about Tilda but since it has turned my bedroom into something found in a Stanley Kubrick film I thought it was appropriate to share.
I don’t own a single movie she’s in. Kidman is the closest she has to an other in my collection. I do someday would like to have two sexual partners who know about each other and are perfectly fine with it. I see both men balding and being full of gray facial hair. Does Ms. Swinton write poetry? I certainly can oblige her in this area on any subject at all. I do own 8 ½. I have high cheekbones and shapely eyebrows --- lips that would make all the Hollywood surgical hags jealous. In the end both of us share the same birthday month and astrological sign along with Joni Mitchell, Bjork, and Martin Scorsese.

anna said...

Something I saw the other day that might be interesting for the German-speaking Tilda lovers here:
the late Christoph Schlingensief talking about filming "Egomania" with Tilda Swinton and Udo Kier in 1986
YouTube
I love the beginning when he talks about meeting Tilda and falling in love with her on first sight.

NATHANIEL R said...

anon 5:38 -- It wasn't a movie. she did it for an art exhibit. she slept in the box for a week and people could come to the museum and stare at her.

NATHANIEL R said...

i apologize for the bizarre look of this post. i have no idea why there's so much space everywhere between lines. :)

ah, computers. they have never really been my friend despite my love of them.

George P. said...

Happy Birthday Tilda!

Things I've done:
# Be colorful.
# Imagine you have deep Scottish roots.
# Watch a Derek Jarman film immediately. (just rented "War Requiem" from the library!)
# That's right. Watch ORLANDO (1993) again. It's so good.
# Enjoy your own company.
# Embrace Female Perversions... whatever that may mean to you. (sang along to a Sara Bareilles CD?)
# Listen to Orbital's "The Box"
# Pretend to hate your cat and him/her "Aslan". (my poor Imaginary cat!)
# Learn another language. (Buon Compleanno Tilda Swinton!)
# Get real drunk and run your mouth constantly ...maybe wear a creepy black mask while doing so? (sorry, no mask)
# Be cultured.
# Complain to everyone who will listen that Tilda should have won a second Oscar for Julia last year. (sorry sis!)
# And/or appreciate the androgynous in others. (go Prince & Boy George!)
# Never lack for imagination.
# Be your own person. There is only one you.
# Do the Laurel & Hardy dance from Way Out West.

and Plan to do:
# Dye your hair white blonde... or bright red.
# Stand naked in front of the mirror with your goodies tucked. Say "Same person. No different at all. Just a different sex"
# Invite a friend over and do a crazy photoshoot. You photograph so well!
# Be enigmatic.
# Sweat it out in a bathroom stall or nervously rehearse a speech.
# Watch I AM LOVE for IT IS CINEMA...
# "Do not fade. Do not grow old."

OtherRobert said...

I saw that she turned 50 today and was gobsmacked. That's 50? This isn't some kooky experimental art thing where she tampered with public records to make us all think she's significantly older than she actually is, is it?

Happy Birthday to one of the most unique voices working in the industry today.

anon 5:38 said...

wow, did she really do that? she's weirdly awesome.

Andreas said...

My way of celebrating: write a short skit in which two characters praise Tilda's androgyny and acting, then watch it be performed at my school's biweekly skit performance event. Lines included "She can out-act George Clooney any day!" and "She's descended from Scottish nobility!"

Also: Teknolust has recently jumped pretty up on my need-to-see queue. I wonder if it's any good?

Dan said...

She has got to be the most interesting person out there.

Dimitra said...

"Watch a Derek Jarman film immediately."

Oh God, don't remind me of Caravaggio.

Arkaan said...

Watched Caravaggio for the first time today.

Anonymous said...

Do a Tilda film marathon this week-end.