Sunday, February 14, 2010

Yes, No, Maybe So: Centurion

Lately it seems like I should maybe be retitling this blog The Fassbender Experience. And here we go again with the staring. But he gives good (movie) face. Fish Tank is still in select theaters but the next feature on the way and it's called Centurion.



All violent period epics are now required to emulate 300 or Gladiator so this one's got some Gladiator lighting and opening forest mayhem and it's got two of 300's stars, Fassbender and Dominic West.

YES. Michael Fassbender on the run. Run, Fassbender, run. While watching Fassbender running I suddenly flashbacked to Chandler and Joey's Baywatch obsession. Always with the running. Run, Michael. Run like the wind!

I should probably admit that as much as I've been obsessing over Fassbender this past year, I don't actually remember him in 300. Or which one he was. I hope he isn't the one that got beheaded. That was so gross.

NO. Which brings me to a lot of "no" here for me. I hate to get left behind in film culture but I swear to god the movies are getting too bloodthirsty and sadistic for me. It seems like it escalates every year. Pretty soon even romantic comedies will have to amp it up. Maybe their slapstick falls could end with broken bones piercing through flesh? The other no here for me is the bad catchphrases masquerading as dialogue "We live united or die divided!!!" This movie is from Neil Marshall, the director of The Descent (which I liked quite a bit) and Doomsday. I tried to watch the latter once after reading an amusing piece on it at fourfour but I couldn't make it through. Too bloody for me. I could never have been a doctor.

MAYBE SO. Here's my thing with warrior women. Love them... BUT... I also kinda hate them when they're too male fantasy. If you look at James Cameron's warrior women, they're not without sex appeal but they have considerable edge. You can't imagine them as male-malleable fantasy centerfolds is what I'm saying. So I'm not sure about these Maxim girls with swords. That said Olga Kurylenko was pretty good in Quantum of Solace so... maybe.

I think I'm a no. But then there's Fassbender. So...
Which way do you lean?
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12 comments:

Jim T said...

I love this post! More Friends references please!

I agree on the yes and no parts. I think I agree on the "maybe so". I love Xena. Is she a male or a lesbian fantasy? I don't care.

I am a "no" on this film. Seems like a nothing movie.

And, yes, I am soo tired of all this violence!

Marshall said...

Interestingly enough this is based on the fabled Ninth Legion lost in Britain, which is the basis for Channing Tatum's THE EAGLE OF THE NINTH, wherein I believe he plays the son of a General investigating the event 20 years later. So my question is, what film will be made to complete this Abs Trilogy?

Glendon said...

Nathaniel, regarding bloodthirsty and sadistic films, I'm curious if you have seen Mel Gibson's Apocalypto. It certainly doesn't hold back in the gore department but a lot of the brutal "eye-scream" moments are meant to be crowd pleasers similar to the climax of the trailer fight with Elle in Kill Bill vol 2. The production value is uncanny and like James Cameron, Gibson actually knows how to film an action scene.

About Centurion, I didn't really get anything out of the trailer, but Fassbender has so much goodwill with me after Basterds and Hunger that I might just see it.

Chele Belle said...

When it comes down to watching Fassbender the answer is always Hell Yeah!!! I even recently watched a very stupid horror flick called Blood Creek with Fassbender playing a Nazi vampire. As for 300 he was the one who told the enemy they'd fight 'em in the shade. May go wander off somewhere and rewatch HEX.

Jude said...

Everytime you make a Friends reference (no matter how slight) I get incredibly excited.

That being said, I think I'll sit this one out.

moror said...

Tilda in Narnia-like make up would make this a yes, I'm sure.

Anonymous said...

Oh, those poor romans...

GayAsXmas said...

I think The Descent is one of the greatest horror films of the last 20 years. I have seen it at least close to a dozen times, and it always gets to me. It's well written, very well acted and just pushes all my buttons. So I am definitely there for Centurian.

As for Doomsday, the film is terrible, but in a very ballsy, go-for-broke kind of way. Marshall was trying to ape some of the more extreme, trashy 80s action epics, but unlike The Descent, he doesn't do anything to elevate the material. FourFour's description of it is actually far more entertaining then the movie.

Hardy said...

Interesting. I thought Kurylenko was DREADFUL in Quantum of Solace.

JA said...

You probably already know what a big Neil Marshall fan I am, Nat, so I'll refrain from hollering that, but I will point out with regards to your last point that he's got a pretty good record so far with making his women-folk kick ass without turning them into simple fantasy objects. I can't think of many horror films from the past decade that have a richer assortment of female characters than The Descent did, and the film wasn't just filled with women, but was really about women and those pesky "women's issues" too.

Dino said...

I completely agree with your opinions:
We need more Sarah Connors in action flicks, the violence needs to be appropriate and smartly/effectively apportioned, and I'm so hooked on Fassbender I'd see that Valentine's Day garbage if I knew he was strolling through it. My addiction started after seeing Basterds (best in show alongside Waltz) and I was surprised upon checking his filmography that he was in 300 (I believe he's the dude that lunges and cuts the guy's arm off) and Hunger (ballsy awesomeness perfected) - I completely failed to connect him to Hunger after seeing. That doesn't happen often for me, and I only like him more for it, I attribute it as a compliment to his remarkable transformation skills and range as an actor...

And no, I'm not just trying to be teacher's pet here, proof being that I'm a big fan of Eastwood, well outside of Flags and Invictus.

Simone said...

If Michael weren't in Centurion, I may save this for a DVD rental. But I'm so there at the theater because I do enjoy these epic ancient Euro battles.

And Nat, FYI, Michael was Stelios in 300, the hot sexy crazy one who jumped all over the place.