Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Oscar and The Jesus Year

I'm really trying to leave the gold man behind but he never unclenches his grip. Have you noticed the arms? Plus he has a sword... so, one has to move slowly away. Tip toe. Tip toe. I advise against sudden movements.

Anyway, for fun I thought I'd dedicate a post to the dozen acting Oscar winners who won when they were 33 years of age. Why? Because it's all about Kate Winslet right now! Here they are...
You know this list makes Mel Gibson seethe with jealousy.

No Best Actor nominee has ever won during his Jesus year. In fact no actor who has ever risked playing Jesus has won an Oscar either before or after that Only Begotten Moment (and that includes actors as acclaimed as Ralph Fiennes, Max von Sydow -- whom I interviewed and asked about the "spiritual thread" in his career, Willem Dafoe and Christian Bale all of whom you'd think would have a statue by now) so maybe it's an Academy curse.

If I am struck by lightning after posting this, I'll try to film it so David Fincher can use it in his next movie.

If your Jesus year is still ahead of you you can use this trivia as a goal post. How will you work towards winning an Oscar by then? Make a plan and get busy! If you're older than 33 try not to feel desperately unaccomplished.


Billy Held An Oscar said...

I would rather walk on my lips than say something unkind about an Oscar winner but ..... I truly believe that Catherine Zeta-Jones lies about her age. I think she is at least a good 5 yrs older than she claims.

Lucas Dantas said...

my acupunturist advised me to make a goal list for the future. not to plan the future, that's against my philosophy ["all you have is today"], but to list things i wanna accomplish in this life. so i'll add "win an oscar in my jesus year" to it.

the only problem is to define in which category i'll be nominated.

John T said...

All right, I've got 8 years to pull this off. :)

Anonymous said...

Then there's Tom Lehrer's great line, "It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years."


nothing great line!

billy hmmm. maybe.

everyone i hope everyone realizes that last line is meant in the kindest possible way. the post made me feel unaccomplished and misery loves company.

wait. that's not kind.

Dame James said...

Why does Olivia look so awful in her picture? Was makeup banned at the 1949 Oscars?

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else think that in that little picture grid the Zeet looks more like Queen Latifah? Who really won the Oscar for Chicago?!

NicksFlickPicks said...

Well, I recognized her, but for sure, from now on, I'm only referring to her as "Zeet."

Nathaniel, I shudder, I quiver to think of the mad spreadsheet skillz that went into the archiving of this information and the creation of this post. In my dream, it took no time at all: you and Monty sat down to your computer, opened Excel, and all of this information was already just sitting there.

Karen said...

I guess 33 is a magical number. My special year is still ahead of me so I can still dream of that Oscar win.

Anonymous said...

my Jesus year starts in July... and I clearly havo nooooo chance at an Oscar. To even stand a chance I'd have to quickly develop a fabulous acting career in the next six months, and I'm afraid I'm going to be too busy trying to get myself awarded a PhD before I hit 33! :p

so I'll just bask in the reflection of wonderful Kate's award. FINALLY!!!

oh, and thanks to the wonderful world of internet I was just able to see the show (I don't have the right cable channel to have seen it live at 3am the other night) and can I say: WOW! LOVED THE SHOW!!! and when do we get Hugh Jackman in a musical? with Anne Hathaway please? ;o) I especially loved the tributes given to the acting nominees by their peers... I was at first a bit disappointed to hear they'd changed the old tradition of winner of opposite sex from previous year giving the award (would have loved a Javier-Penelope moment) but this way was so much more emotional! Lovely, lovely, lovely!!!

Rich Aunt Pennybags said...

I truly believe that Catherine Zeta-Jones lies about her age. I think she is at least a good 5 yrs older than she claims.

I wouldn't be surprised if the Zeet wasn't the only one that wasn't 33.

Of course, I've read rumors about her for years, and that Grandpa was sure mad when he found out her real age when there was a security check done on them before they could go to some White House thing.

On the other hand, I think her classmates would have come out about her real age since I'm sure there's proof out there if she's lying like that picture of her with the hideous hairline before she got it lasered off to look like she does now. So she might be lying just a tad bit, but I don't think she could hide it if she's really 10 or more years older like some gossip sites have tried to claim. She should really lay off the cigarettes and sun tanning though because there've been some unphotoshopped pictures of her recently that were not very flattering.


Nick Monty had nothing to do with this particular spreadsheet!

rich aunt FOR SURE. I mean i'm pretty sure that most people shave off a year or two in Hollywood.

though i don't wanna speculate about who.

Unknown said...

You forgot Jim Caviezel, in "The Passion of The Christ." He was also 33 when he played Jesus.. and received not one award... except for People's Choice