For your special day I thought we should call a truce. What do you say?
In fact, I'd love for you to come visit. I don't live in a trailer park anymore and my new place is spacious --one might say eternal in its square footage. I don't have airconditioning but I think you'll feel right at home!
And speaking of home. I've arranged two special gifts to be delivered to your apartment this very afternoon. Gerard Butler in a loin... ha ha. Gotcha! No, this is something you'll like even more.
First: a box set of all my great performances. Everything is there! The Core, The Gift, Affair of the Necklace, Freedom Writers, The Reaping... even The Next Karate Kid. And second: The personal touch...
Renée Zellweger herself will be delivering them to you along with a singing telegram (music and lyrics by --well, that'll be a surprise). I know how you Renées song & dance stylings.
Happy Birthday Asshole!