Wednesday, June 06, 2007

A Birthday Invitation

Nathaniel,

For your special day I thought we should call a truce. What do you say?


In fact, I'd
love for you to come visit. I don't live in a trailer park anymore and my new place is spacious --one might say eternal in its square footage. I don't have airconditioning but I think you'll feel right at home!

And speaking of home. I've arranged two
special gifts to be delivered to your apartment this very afternoon. Gerard Butler in a loin... ha ha. Gotcha! No, this is something you'll like even more.

First: a box set of all my great performances. Everything is there!
The Core, The Gift, Affair of the Necklace, Freedom Writers, The Reaping... even The Next Karate Kid. And second: The personal touch...


Renée Zellweger herself will be delivering them to you along with a singing telegram (music and lyrics by --well, that'll be a surprise). I know how you Renées song & dance stylings.


Happy Birthday Asshole!

love, Hilary

*

26 comments:

SusanP said...

Happy Birthday, Nat!!!

I'm so glad that I've had the opportunity to not only appreciate your warmth and wit in this forum, but get to know you in person and become friends. It means more than I can express here.

Hope you have a great birthday and I look forward to seeing you and celebrating soon.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Aww, happy birthday Nat!

You totally deserve more than a singing telegram and a Best-Of-Hilary box set though.

I'd write more but it's nearly 3am and I need sleep. Nevertheless, have a great day. You deserve it!

Annette Bening said...

I shouldn't be doing this, you didn't congratulate for my bithday, but I'm doing it anyway..

Happy birthday BITCH

Neel Mehta said...

Hollywood's gotta jumpstart a Carly Simon biopic before Hilary Swank and Cheryl Hines get too, uh, long in the tooth for it.

Michael Parsons said...

Happy Birthday!!! And many more!!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, but what's with YOU giving the present? That post is the funniest fucking thing I've read all day.

Pedro said...

♪Cumpleaños Feliz♫

And many more good years.

Sam said...

If Hillary had actually written that, I might become a fan.

But then I'd have to go see The Reaping, so cancel that.

Happy Birthday.

JA said...

Hope you have a fantastic bday, Nat!

mikadzuki said...

Happy birthday! :)

Deborah said...

Happy birthday!

Hey! Where's the hottie?

rural juror said...

Happy Birthday you Swank hating genius

Ali said...

Happy Birthday to a true original. The rest of us are just copy-cats.

lawyer tony fernando said...

Happy birthday Mr. Nathaniel, I wish that I could give you Hillary´s corpse but I can´t, but what about box set of Carmen miranda´s movies? So you can lust for her and also Rodrigo Santoro (I bet!)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Honey!

Linda

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Mr. R.

Marcelo - Brazil.

Matt said...

happy birthday!

Marius said...

Happy belated birthday, Nat. Hope you had a great time! Hm, I wonder if your birthday celebrations changed after you ceased being a Mormon.

c.p. iñor said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATHANIEL!!!!!

ESTAS SON LAS MANANITAS...

I'LL DRINK TEQUILA FOR YOU.

Sid said...

My belated wishes Nat. Now when are those reviews coming?

Ken said...

Happy birthday!

What, no Insolence gassed all over the Swanky DVDs? :)

Grace said...

A happy belated birthday, Nat.

Best wishes! :)

SamuraiFrog said...

Late, as I always am, but happy birthday. Thanks for giving us the gift of this great blog, and I hope your gifts were even better.

Joe R. said...

Happy belated! You're truly, truly awesome.

Bemis said...

Happy birthday!

NATHANIEL R said...

thank you to all the happy birthday wishers

except for Skank