Monday, August 25, 2008

What I Learned on My Summer Vacation - Rob

Wow, what a summer. I've laughed, I've cried, I've seen The Dark Knight far too many times for someone who thought it was good but flawed. And I've learned so much.

This is the first part in a series this week of random musings on the Summer of '08.

I've learned:

If you don't have a supernatural superpowers, this is America, being independently wealthy works just fine.

Blackface, smoking pot, and illegal wiretapping are all fine, but suggesting people are getting too fat and will need an adorable robot to save them will ignite massive controversy.

The Wachowski's may, in fact, be completely insane.

This year's Hulk is better than Ang Lee's Hulk. Never mind that the critical response is the same and the box office is worse... somehow it's apparently better.

A movie can be made where Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron play spouses, and a character has a hook for a hand, yet not be the Arrested Development movie.

M. Night Shyamalan may, in fact, be completely insane.

Brendan Frazer can have 2 movies in the Box Office top 10 at the same time and it will not bring on Armageddon.

And just when you think studios have learned that movies geared toward women or families can make money, something comes around to make the Male, 13-35 years old, king again. Nothing changes... not really.

This Summer We Loved:
Robert Downey Jr. x2.
The Dark Knight.
R-rated comedies.
Colin Farrel (because we didn't see In Bruges when it was in theaters).
What's happened to Woody Allen's career.

This Summer We Hated:
George Lucas.
What's become of M. Night Shyamalan's career.
What's become of Mike Myers's career.
People who loved The Dark Knight.
The idea that Maria Bello can replace Rachel Wiesz.
George Lucas.

This Summer We Felt Ambivalent About:
Edward Norton's Incredible Hulk.
The land of Narnia sans James McAvoy.
What's become of Eddie Murphy's career.
Old T.V. shows being turned into movies.
Steven Spielberg.
Christian Bale.


Runs Like A Gay said...

We learnt that if a movie has either:

a) Big stars doing karaoke versions of pop hits, or

b) An impressive viral campaign and pretentions of deeper meaning

then the film will be virtually critic proof and will do significantly better business than expected.

Jonathan B. said...

"Blackface, smoking pot, and illegal wiretapping are all fine, but suggesting people are getting too fat and will need an adorable robot to save them will ignite massive controversy."

I would hardly say WALL-E got a lot of controversy, or even a little for its portrayal of fatties. At least, no where near as much as Tropic Thunder's take on the mentally challenged, or even illegal wiretapping that supposedly doesn't get controversy.

I think your summer teacher needs to get his facts straight.


your comments about Brendan Fraser are duly noted but it's also worth noting that he can do this and still nobody will talk about him.

he's like a stand-in for a real star. it sounds mean but it's got to be true. He's had so many hits but do people care?

also: it's cute that you say "may" be completely insane as if the verdict on the Wachowskis and Shyamalan isn't already out. ;)

Anonymous said...

the happening... boring, yuck, let down

Glenn Dunks said...

Loved this!