Friday, February 06, 2009

Now Playing: Kristen Bell in Bikini, Chris Evans Fully Clothed

The Oscar films expanded last week (and in some cases -- *cough* Milk ??? -- they're already constricting again. Hope you caught them during those seven days you were allowed to see them!) so it's strictly new releases for February. Links go to trailers...

Odd that this comedy, about a group of Star Wars fanboys (and fangirl Veronica Mars Kristen Bell, left) storming George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch would come out the day it's target audience is hitting the Comic Con. (Methinks the target audience will be too busy wearing their own Princess Leia costumes or gawking at real live ones to go see Kristen don hers!) Like many a film before it Harvey Weinstein bought this and locked it up tight never to see the light of day until, suddenly, on a whim he decided to dump it in a theater or three.

The Objective
One of the directors of The Blair Witch Project tries the 'filming our demise' thing again only with military men in Afghanistan this time.

Chocolate The director of Ong Bak: Thai Warrior returns with another one of his "no wires. no stunt doubles" action films. This one is about a special needs girl who loves chocolate. She has some magical gift for muy thai fighting. I think it's kind of like that superpower on Heroes where if you see an action performed you can duplicate it. I also love chocolate and have special needs. Where's my movie? Alas, I lack that nifty fighting gift and my special needs primarily revolve around Tony Jaa. Where is he?

Chocolate and Coraline. Curious young girls are trouble!

Coraline If you suffer from koumpounophobia you should skip this one. If you don't, you should run to the theater because the buzz for this 3D stop motion adventure makes it sound delicious and the source material is superb. If you haven't been reading Neil Gaiman's books, when are you going to start? Try American Gods.

He's Just Not That Into You Looks like the kind of movie you'll l-o-v-e if Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus strikes you as a landmark academic tome. Initially I wanted to see it (Ginnifer Goodwin plus the parade of stars) but early reports from critic friends are grim and the episode of Sex & the City about that catchphrase is unbeatable anyway. Plus, you know how they often put the best jokes from movies in trailers?

_______...those are the best jokes?

Push In which Chris Evans keeps his clothes on (just a hunch -- it's that damn new manager's fault) to play a rogue psychic leading a battle against a secret government agency. Or something. Dakota Fanning (the voice of Coraline. Dakota is a workaholic) and Djimon Hounsou also have clairvoyant powers. My own telepathic abilities tell me you're confused. "Isn't Push the movie about the obese black teenager? Didn't it win the top prize at Sundance last month?" Yes, yes, that's the one. Only it's not this one. The Sundance Push is the one that's winning Mo'Nique raves and Oscar style buzz. But this is the other Push, now playing in thousands of theaters starring Chris Evans and it's not going to get any Oscar nominations.

It would be better if Mo'Nique was in it.

Much better.

Oooh, baby, baby Baby
Yo, yo, yo, yo, Evans, Chris / Yeah, you come here, gimme a kiss /
Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed

P.S. I don't know why everyone is surprised that Mo'Nique can act. Duh.

The Pink Panther 2 A non-rhetorical question for the comments: What the hell is Steve Martin doing with his career?


Hayden said...

Even Mickey Rourke couldn't recover from Flavor of Love: Charm School.

Ali Arikan said...

I preferred Kristen Bell in a bikini when it was called Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Miaow!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Neil Gaimen, will you be reading his his Newberry winner, The Graveyard Book? I thought Coraline was a really good read, and I can't wait to read more of his work.

- Adam

Anonymous said...

Man, I miss good Steve Martin movies. Remember the days when even the movies he didn't write were good? More "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels"s and less "Cheaper By The Dozen"s, please.

Fox said...

HAHA! That Push w/ Mo'Nique card made my stressful morning. Thanks! :)

p.s. I like Chris Evans. I think he's underrated.

Jason Adams said...

The Graveyard Book is terrific (although I'd place Coraline higher in my estimation). Well worth reading. But then, I've never found a Gaiman book not well worth reading.

And THANK YOU Nat for some well-placed levity regarding Mo'Nique's skills. She's always been a terrific comedic actress. She's just been stuck in a lot of crappy films, like so many other talented performers of color. Lovin' the buzz around her.

Anonymous said...

I always find it fascinating when performers step out of their comfort zones to do something unexpected. Now I am very much looking forward to what I shall refer to from here on as "the good PUSH."

Michael Parsons said...

If she is nominated will she be the second actor nominated for an Oscar with only one name?

Anonymous said...

Doesn't the apostrophe kuna make it two names?

Anonymous said...

I just came from seeing Push and He's Just Not That Into You. Both are fairly decent film but don't tread much new ground. In Push's defense, I can say that it isn't the 2009 version of Jumper. There at least feels like some thought was put into character development and creating emotional investment.

As for HJNTIY, in someways it diverged from the rom-com formula. Unfortunately, there was one point in the film where the movie could have really broke away from that formula but it coped-out and went for the safe conclusion.

Glendon said...

I think Martin is just making movies he enjoys making. I'm sure he doesn't need to worry about his career.

Karen said...

LOL on that Push animation!

Anonymous said...

Mo'Nique last name is Imes.

Anyway Coraline was a great film. I love it.

NicksFlickPicks said...

I. love. you. for that Salt 'n' Pepa riff. I am completely into you.


I am completely into SALT N' PEPA and I'm not even ashamed!

Eric Henderson said...

OK, that Chris Evans/Mo'Nique .gif is a work of art.


thank you thank you

i want to see that movie more than the ones they made (although I'm sure Mo'Nique's i'll be excited for once it gets closer)

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Unknown said...

Nice bikini pic of my lovely veronica. I gt all her episodes of veronica mars show and managed all of them in ma PC. I have downloaded them from