Sunday, March 05, 2006

Making a List. Checking it Twice.

(tonight we find out if Oscar's naughty or nice...)

Things to do today
1. Cross fingers for all things Brokeback @ the Oscars
2. Clean entire apartment
3. Slave drive the boyfriend (who is already cooking in preparation)
4. Clean up unneccessary cat vomit left as gift for me by Monty while I slept. (Thankfully he avoided the red carpet as you enter the Kodak Theater apartment)
5. Final preparations for Oscar party activities / decor
6. Double check everything
7. Obsess
8. Have nervous breakdown
9. Welcome guests
10. Watch star arrivals on E!
11. Eat, drink, critique fashion, be merry
12. Switch over to ABC for the show
14. Press Record
15. Watch the Oscars. Cross fingers for all things Brokeback
16. Eventually send everyone home
17. Collapse

88 comments:

Kamikaze Camel said...

Wow. I'm so glad me and my two best have a very simple awards show tradition. Get pizza, go to my place, watch the Oscars.

Although, this year I am bringing out my own award ceremony during the ad breaks. They are called the Umas - because my award, like Oscar, is tall, statuesque, golden, carries a sword, but also has fabo hair and near impeccible dress sense! Like Oscar Barbie or something. But Uma is better.

I've hilariously gotten my friends more excited about MY awards than the Oscars. They're all "i can't wait for Umas on Monday" instead of the Oscars.

(i shamelessly stole a lot of categories from the Film Bitch awards, but i also have categories of my own.)

I rock.

Nick M. said...

Only one 'nervous breakdown' is on the list? That's impressive.

Oh, and do you sincerely want Brokeback to win everything? I like the film, but -- come on -- spread the wealth! That is, as long as that underserved wealth is being spreaded to Memoirs of a Geisha.

John T. said...

Good luck with the party Nathaniel-my fingers are crossed already for Jack, Ennis, Alma, and Ang.

StinkyLulu said...

I guess I'm part of a trend -- I've got "My Own Anti-Oscars" too. (You can see the breakdown over at StinkyLulu.) But I'll be thinking of you Nathaniel...

Kamikaze Camel said...

I actually wrote on my blog earlier that there is the slight possibility that it could get everything. If the actors get behind it.

But, i sorta don't have any belief that it CAN happen. Just... ya know. It's nice to hypothesise.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Oh, but speaking of Oscar parties - I was thinking of foods that had Oscar themes to them to make and serve but I only got as far as Transamerica Balls and then I got stumped. Capotato Chips? Mrs Henderson Presents... (skinny) dip!? perhaps.

Man, if I had actually thought this out it may have eventuated into something. And in honour of Hollywood's drug crowd I could have the Snort the Line... of coke! Or... maybe not.

Nick M. said...

"Transamerica balls" don't sound particularly appetizing.

That line of coke, on the other hand...

What can I say? I walk the line.

chofer said...

Nat, I'd rather be seeing the Countdown on Fox with Joan Rivers and her daughter (HEY, THE BITCHES ARE BACK!!!!!)

By the way, have the AMPAS a double seat for Jell-O?:))

Just asking.

NATHANIEL R said...

kamikaze -you do rock.

nick -i don't believe in sweeps BUT when the option is shit like Geisha winning prizes, I hope for sweeps.

john -thanks

stinky -awww. sweet. i won't be thinking of you! ha ha. i think of nothing other than Oscar during Oscar. But i assumed all of you knew that already. i don't even think about websites and blogging or ANYTHING. it's a wierdly inthezone experience for easily distracted me.

kamikaze & nick -do i need to show you pictures of like winona ryder, courtney love, and i don't know tara reid as warnings. just say no, boys!

chofer -i'm not sure what you mean. jello?

um... i really wasn't going to get on the internet today. but i'm playing momentary hookie from getting ready for the par-tay.

BYE

Nick M. said...

"That is, as long as that underserved wealth is being spreaded to Memoirs of a Geisha."

Oh fuck -- I made a BAAAD typo.

That was suppose say "NOT being spread to Memoirs..."*

Yikes. What an egregious mistake.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Nick, don't knock the Transamerica Balls.

You know what surprise i would just DIE for. Memoirs to miss it's preordained Best Costume Design category. Man, that'd be great.

I officially have to cut off all tv and internet now because otherwise I'm gonna start hearing spoilers and I don't want that.

Ciao bellas.

Hope everyone's Oscar tips happen... if they're the same as mine.

Lily said...

NO! That. Did. Not. Happen.


That is all I have to say.

c.p. iñor said...

HOLY MOLY!!!!!!

J said...

Okay. Honestly, here's the thing:

People like "Crash" better. Just look at the IMDB rankings. I don't agree, but man, this is a movie regular people -- NOT film aficionados -- adore.

Anonymous said...

I hope Nathaniel's head didn't explode...

Anonymous said...

What the fuck?! Crash just scooped up the big prize! :-o I'm going to vomit and then cry myself to sleep. :-(

AMPAS, how could you do such a shitty thing to our beloved Brokeback Mountain? No surprises, and then this?!

...sigh...wimper, wimper...sigh...

Marco

Justin said...

I vomited!

Fer said...

i am SO ashamed! and i'm not even a member of the academy. if i were one, i'd shoot myself in the head.

John T. said...

OK-they don't surprise in Best Supporting Actress (I love Rachel Weisz, but would have been happy with Adams or Williams), Supporting Actor (yeah, Giamatti should have been nominated last year and Jake is affable), Actor (would have been thrilled by this), hell even Actress (I was rooting for Reese, but Felicity winning would have continued a horrible tradition). And then they give it to CRASH?!? Crash-the worst of the five (second year in a row), the vapid, self-indulgent, couldn't pull a great performance out of it pile of...

OK, Nathaniel-give your loyal readers some perspective, please. Tell us that Citizen Kane and Moulin Rouge! and Some Like It Hot and Taxi Driver all lost their Best Picture races-we need reassurance.

OhMyTrill said...

I wish I was dead...I can't believe this has happened. Please wake me up and tell its Sunday morning. NO RESPECT for the academy AT ALL. Help.

Nacho said...

ohmyfrickin'god

i feel RAPED, they had 4 much better movies and they chose Crash?

Steve said...

this year's ceremony seemed like an even more egregious celebration of mediocrity than normal.

what can you say about an awards body that gives memoirs of a geisha three prizes?

theophilus jamal said...

It just happened, brother. Brokeback lost the Oscar. And I'm terribly sorry for you, because I've been following this site for ages and your passion for that thing positively burnt through the computer screen. I'm so, so, so terribly sorry. I think Brokeback and Crash are both beautiful films, and I love them both almost equally, but I can hardly imagine the sadness you're feeling. I hope you'll be all right!

Anonymous said...

Please, did you honestly think that a gay-oriented movie was going to win Best Picture ? After all this is America, a VERY homophobic country.

OhMyTrill said...

Oscar was very not nice this this year...

Ali said...

Hah, after watching montage after montage of the Academy patting itself on the back for addressing social issues way before anyone else did, this really puts Brokeback's loss into perspective.

adam k. said...

And the night was going SO WELL up until then, too.

I thought Jon Stewart was great. The skits were funny. The winners, for the most part, were deserving, and the speeches, for the most part, good. I was really enjoying myself.

But yes, they really put the ASS in AMPASS this time. Fuck that.

And then I had to explain to people in my dorm why I was so upset. They were like, "but Crash is a good movie". Please. Just. Go. Away.

I also hope Nathaniel's head didn't explode... should've known it was too soon after ROTK for his taste to collide again with the academy's... it's like Haley's Comet, it only swings by once every few decades.

Nathaniel? Are you alive? Give us a sign, man, give us a sign!

adam k. said...

And yeah, I said it on my blog, but it deserves to be said again here:

SHAME ON YOU, Jodie Foster. SHAME ON YOU.

OhMyTrill said...

I wonder if Nathaniel is alive...I actually considering that fact that he isn't...I know I barely am.

Anonymous said...

I'm almost as sad as when Kerry lost :(

adam k. said...

Yeah, seriously. It is that same type of feeling.

Seriously, Nathaniel, post something... a little random comment, anything... I am quite seriously CONCERNED FOR YOUR WELL-BEING at this time.

nick said...

Nathaniel,

Please. Help us. Guide us. Undo these evils!!

JavierAG said...

We desperately need our Savior right now. He might have died, though.

Anonymous said...

4 pics take 3 Oscars.

But did Crash really have to..??

Eddcort said...

I Hate oscars, I won´t watch them again, it´s so unfair. THIS WAS THE WORST CEREMONY EVER!!!!!!!

OhMyTrill said...

Tears...

Trashbag Kid said...

WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US!?

Trashbag Kid said...

Joking. But seriously. This is depressing.

Anonymous said...

Oh, get over it already.

Fer said...

March 5th, 2006: a day which will live in infamy.

Anonymous said...

Come ON! I mean I wasn't the biggest Brokeback fan, but CRASH!!!! Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

adam k. said...

Oh dear. I fear the worst for Nathaniel.

I fear that BBM's loss has killed him. Heart attack, head explosion, whatever... something has happened to Nat.

RIP, Nathaniel. We all love you.

adam k. said...

OMG, Anonymous...

"fuck me gently with a chainaw"

BEST. LINE. EVER.

eddcort said...

I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

That's it-I'm only watching the Golden Globes!

Vertigo's Psycho said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vertigo's Psycho said...

Jack Nicholson is still the King of Cool, but I'd think much more highly of him tonight if he'd said 'Brokeback,' then ate the envelope.

I saw 'Crash' when it came out last spring and thought "Good movie, better than what you usually see this time of year." I saw 'Brokeback' in January and I thought "this is one of the most moving films I've ever seen in my life. I have to watch it again ASAP." Guess those DVDs and Ebert's supreme "thumb's up" carried the day for the underdog. . .

Thank God Ang Lee came though, and 'Brokeback' at least tied for the most wins.

Anonymous said...

Crash can blow me

brainypirate said...

I felt this same way when Nicole beat Julianne for the Globe a few years back: upset and in a foul mood for days.

We all have a year when our idealism about these awards gets ground into dust, and we realize that these awards aren't about quality, but about self-image.

Plenty of stinker movies have beat out much better films for the Oscar. And plenty of even better films don't even get nominated. Don't think that the Oscars are ever a reliable indicator of what the best work truly is.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for you, Nathaniel, but not only for you!
I should have no words for the end of this evening; I was watching the Oscars for twelve consecutive years now (and I always forced my friends {hetero and homo} to acompany me/they are all outraged, by the way, naming the Oscar the worst possible names!) - I started, not even knowing the English language - but knowing the titles of the nominated films (learning them by hard, I'm German!).
And now ...? I'm ready to promise it was my last time watching the Academy Awards. What A SHAME, shame on the Academy and all those ... ! HOW COULD THEY?! I can't think of any (AND I, AS A FILM LOVER, KNOW THE OSCAR HISTORY QUITE WELL) comparison in the Academy Award history at all.
I mean ... please!!! ... 'Crash' of all 2005?
No, no and another no.
That's nothing else but ridiculous!!!
Your site was and will always be a wonderful reference. Maybe you should switch to the BAFTAS or anything else, the oscars just diqualified themselves for (at least) a couple of years!
Greetings from here (Weimar, Germany)
Michael.

Anonymous said...

crash can blow me

Anonymous said...

Stupid, Stupid, that was just stupid, I hate you Academy

JavierAG said...

This is the second 2004 movie that wins a BP Oscar. I think that only happened once before (Casablanca).

Nick M. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nick M. said...

So, Ebert does control Hollywood.

Or he is simply just as lame as the American public and the Academy.

Anonymous said...

I hate Crash, it was our turn!!!!

adam k. said...

Nathaniel? Seriously, are you alive? Did you just need to sleep or what? Please check in when you're able.

I would hate for The Boyfriend to be widowed...

Nick M. said...

I'm sure The Boyfriend took his own life first.

Anthony said...

And here's what they're saying on the other side of the aisle:

- Ann Coulter, was calling the snub of Brokeback and failure to award the suicide bombers' film an Oscar "a strategic retreat" by the left, and something normal Americans should find heartening.

- Why o why does someone with such twisted views [Clooney] have the face of an angel??? Oh life sometimes isn't fair. I guess I'll always have Mel, tho :-)

- They told me that that Brokeback Mountain thing was the most significant, most innovative movie of modern times. What happened?

- No pudding at the after-Oscar parties tonight?

- "Hollywood" got cold feet. At the end of the day, the liberal Democrat vermin pushed the fudge packers of "Brokeback Mountain" overboard. Jon Stewart was an utterly complete failure as ahost and should be selling bagels in the Bronx, NY.

Equality and human deceny rule the day in conservative America, apparently.

Brad said...

Listen - as I said on another comment sheet - Nate definitely over estimated the love for BBM in Hollywood.

BBM's loss is not a homophobic slam. It actually has nothing to do with BBM. CRASH has been the movie that people in L.A. in the industry can't stop talking about.

They think its timely, and that its theme of racism and tolerence is important. More important than BBM's actually. It would have been very easy for voters to check off CRASH on their ballots and feel good about it.

This is when we homos do ourselves our own diservice by bitching that the loss of a gay film at the Oscars is because of homophobia. Its not the case with CRASH winning - sorry.

Anonymous said...

SHUT UP!!! Cause im mad as hell and im not gonna take it anymore!!

Anthony said...

Let me clarify...

I'm not gay and don't think that BBM's loss was a homphobic move by the Academy (it's definitely both an LA-centric thing and simply that a LOT of people liked it...all of my friends and family liked it the best, for ex).

But conservatives and people that aren't as tuned into Oscar culture as we are will READ INTO the movie's loss as a statement ("see...even liberal Hollywood won't ackowledge the sinfulness of homosexuality!") and that I will not stand for.

adam k. said...

I do think SOME of the votes it lost had to be because of homophobia from the geezers. But really most of it is just plain BAD TASTE. Thinking that because it's about L.A., then it's better. That's just stupid. They cannot see a classic in front of their faces, but they can see a film that takes place in L.A.!
"Whoopie. It's about my city! Yay! How profound!"

eddcort said...

Hahaha, well said adam k

Moses said...

I think...

For me I am terribly upset Brokeback lost. But I guess, having it win the Oscar for Best Pic would have been amazing - but having it lose doesn't take any of my love away from the film you know?

Just because AMPAS couldn't get behind a film that I personally found to be more significant and movie than their chosen winner, doesn't mean it wasn't a better film.

Brokeback Mountain meant more to me than Crash ever could. And yeah, I am kinda getting used to AMPAS and myself having slightly different opinions on movies.

Crash wasn't an awful movie -- it just wasn't as good as I thought everyone was saying. Keep your heads' up everyone. There have been PLENTY of undeserving best picture winners, and just because it lost the big prize -- doesn't mean it wasn't the Best Film of 2005.

adam k. said...

The thing is, I'm kind of embarrassed for Crash... moreso than for BBM.

Everyone knows this was a travesty. Even Paul Haggis was quoted as saying "hey, I'm proud of my movie and all, but really Brokeback DOES deserve to win".

And now instead of being remembered as the little indie that could, a pretty decent (if you're feeling generous) movie about racism by a first-time director, it will now and forever be known as "the film that jipped Brokeback Mountain". It will be the butt of jokes for all time.

"Hey, remember in 2005 when Crash beat Brokeback Mountain? Man, that AMPAS is STUPID."

brad said...

I personally don't believe that BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN is going to hold up well over time. I think it is very of the "now" in which it is created and that things like the terrible makeup will make the film look dated (and no I'm not talking about the date in which the film is set - I know its a period piece) very quickly - but that's just me.

At any rate - most of us know that the best films of the year never win the Oscar - so why would this year be any different just because a lot of people embraced the front runner?

douglas said...

i am so so depressed today...

can we like declare MARCH 6 as the day Brokeback lost to a stupid film? i'll even make it an universal holiday, we should mourn, we should pay respects...

the academy lost all its reputation and not mention the credibility... because of what happened tonight, it made GG and even the BAFTA a more credible and more believable award giving body...

I'm out of words really, It's nice to see that i wasn't the only one pissed off with what happened... Brokeback Mountain is my favorite film of all time and i say this with no prejudice, im not gay but i love love the film. just so happens that the academy failed to embrace the academy the way i did...

this is the biggest upset in the whole 78 years the AMPAS was giving awards.

Can't believe that they even call that award best picture. it was so full of crapola, it doesn't even deserve a slot in the top5 nor in the thop 10 or even in my top 50...

i am so so and really really mad, depressed, enraged, pissed off....

http://racsoawards.madur.net

Brad said...

The fact that BBM won every major precursor actually hurt it in my opinion. As others have said - the film peaked early and honestly, has entered into the dangerous zone of self parody the last month.

I didn't love the film, to be honest. And apparently neither did most of the Academy. If they did, BBM would have won at least ONE of the major acting honors.

There is nothing more offputting than feeling 'obligated' to vote for the film that is the front runner.

Arkaan said...

What does that mean, brad?

adam k. said...

Crash has ALWAYS been in the "dangerous zone" of self-parody.

nedim said...

This oscar night was realy boring, coz most of predictions were right. And when Chrash was named the best picture it was such a shock. I mean, Sixth sense kind of shock. When P.S. Hoffman won i thought it was lame for him to win everything and other actors in his caregory almost nothing, but i didnt think of BBM that way....Wow what a shock

Anon in Yorkshire said...

For once I'm glad the BBC didn't elect to show ANY coverage of the Oscars at all. This way I can get over my huge sense of shock and trauma in peace and without teaching my 10 year old some language he shouldn't learn just yet. Seen both films and Brokeback broke my heart. Crash just made me feel as if someone sat me down and preached at me - which is not my thing.

I'm a boring, middle-aged, married with child, Roman Catholic chutney maker which doesn't fit any demographic I've read for supposed Brokeback lovers. And you know what, I'm incandescant with fury at AMPAS. Another for the long list of idiotic decisions that we will all look back at and mock in years to come. After the pain has healed a little.

Anonymous said...

I... I... I just...

[words fail me]

Rob

1$ Saint said...

its nice to no dat mny ppl folo d watchin oscars wid frens ritual...well me n my frens take it 1 step further and have a list of our winners..n match it 2 d real 1s...who comes close get to watch 2 movies a month for the next one year with our money...:(

Kamikaze Camel said...

"This is when we homos do ourselves our own diservice by bitching that the loss of a gay film at the Oscars is because of homophobia. Its not the case with CRASH winning - sorry. "

maybe if Brokeback wasn't actually the best movie of the year and actually hadn't won the PGA, WGA, DGA, Globe, BAFTA, Venice, tonnes of critix and a few guild awards. Maybe if Crash didn't only had the WGA, SAG and Chicago Film Critix.

Is this the first time since Grand Hotel in 1932 that a film has won such few awards. That movie won Best Picture and Best Picture only (from 1 nomination) and now Crash has won 2.

This is SHAMEFUL. How can a film such as Brokeback lose to a movie like Crash (which I admittedly like).

This is a black day for AMPAS and I am not being hyperbolic when I say that they will never live this down. Never. Outrageous. Pathetic.

I could write so many more superlatives but the one that I actually am feeling the most:

INSULTED.

Not as a gay person, or whatever. But as FILM LOVER. I am disgusted and insulted that a movie such as Brokeback could go home not only with only 3 awards, but without Best Picture.

And ANG won! So it's not like "not enough people saw the movie." PLENTY of people saw the movie.

The shit is gonna hit the freakin' fan.

(sorry bout swearin)

Oh man, this is gonna blow up something shocking.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Oh, wait. I forgot that it won editing as well.

I suppose the whole "if you don't get an editing nomination you can't win best picture" trumps "if you don't get nominated for best picture at the globes you can't win best picture" rule don't it.

John T. said...

Rebecca only won two trophies when it won Best Picture.

Anonymous said...

You know what (else) is scary? Memoirs could so easily have taken Best Score, and could so easily have had the biggest award tally of the night.

Rob

OhMyTrill said...

That is freakish...
And where is Nathaniel?

Sam said...

The guilty white liberals could vote for Crash and pat themselves on the back for being progressive when they really aren't. Hollywood is still scared to death of the homos and it only honors those who are sexless. Considering how surprisingly well Brokeback did at the boxoffice, maybe Hollywood really is out of touch, just not in the way the Focus on the Family folks think.

Pedro said...

I am saddened because my favorite movie of the 5 didn't win- I am referring to Munich.

Come on, people. This is only an awards show. We need some perspective in our lives. As someone said, the Oscars do not indicate which one is the best picture of this year. Only time will tell that.

My favorite moment of the night – the introduction of Robert Altman by Meryl and Lilly. Very funny.

david m said...

"And if you can't fix it you've got to stand it."

Chin up, friend.

Kamikaze Camel said...

But, if it were any other awards show it wouldn't matter, but it feels particularly stinging coming from the group that gets their winners titles plastered everywhere and will be looked upon in years to come and people will go "ooh, it won Best Picture"...

Man, imagine if Gustavo had have lost Score... BBM would've only gotten two awards. And, yes, Memoirs would have the highest tally.

4 films got 3 awards. Crash, BBM, Memoirs and King Kong.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe Crash won . This was like the best surprise ever for me and all my friends watching last night. We all agreed that the movie was better than Brokeback. It's too easy to say that BBM didn't win cause of homophobia. Why would they honor a gay character in best leading actor if they were like that. I guess Crash supporters would be saying that the academy is racist if their movie had lost ...

NATHANIEL R said...

anonymous --not quite that simple. i understand why people feel that way but it's not that simple.

crash not winning would not be seen as racism because there was no reason to ever expect it to win (having no significant precursor support). And other films about racism have won the honor so it's hardly a group refusing to acknowledge something.

and as for capote providing a best actor win? I love truman capote but awarding a straight actor a statue for playing a nelly queen is hardly forward thinking pro-gay. It's just a reiteration of what homophobes think gay people are like.

anyway -an upset of this magnitude is unprecendented so there has to be a reason: i.e. homophobia.

and to everyone else:
i am still alive. you're sweet to worry.

Vertigo's Psycho said...

Nathaniel,
Definitely agree concerning the "unprecendented" aspect of 'Crash' upsetting the favorite, and that there's an agenda at work surrounding the 'Brokeback' snub.

Even 'Shakespeare in Love' had a Best Picture Golden Globe going for it (not to mention the juggernaut know as Harvey Weinstein) when it surprised for Best Picture at the Oscars, and won a total of seven Academy Awards. This year 'Crash' had Roger Ebert's backing, and that's about it (meanwhile, 'Brokeback' was picking up a trunk full of awards). I don't recall anyone stating 'Crash' looked like Best Picture of the year material when it opened last spring, yet 'Brokeback' was considered a front-runner for the year's top movie upon the film's release.

I feel there has to be politics at work, or 'Crash' would have made a dent in the 'Brokeback' armour before Sunday night. Looking at Oscar history, the way the Best Picture award played out (with no other upsets in the top categories, no third viable Best Picture contender to cause a "split" vote, and no film sidetracking 'Brokeback's phenomenal run through the awards season) something smells and doesn't add up.

I have to wonder how many 'Crash' voters even SAW 'Brokeback' before marking their ballots (a personal Oscar story: right after the Best Picture announcement, my cousin's husband, who refused to see 'Brokeback' because, well, it's about those gay cowboys, started trying to explain why 'Crash' legitimately won Best Picture, whereupon I made a swift exit).

'Brokeback' still will make film history, but the 'Crash' win will forever allow conservatives to state, "hey, 'Brokeback' wasn't the best movie that year, it lost Best Picture" ignoring the abundance of awards 'Brokeback' won during 2005-06. You better believe a significent number of Oscar voters knew the Best Picture Academy Award takes precedence in the minds of most people when they're reviewing the "best" of any given year, and these voters wanted to make damn sure 'Brokeback' had no place on that short list, regardless of the fact the film's many merits are enough to have marked 'Brokeback' as one of the most deserving winners of the Best Picture Oscar.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Thank god IMDb has an awards page and that we will be able to glance at it at any moment and see what was really the best picture of the year. Surely 90% of Best Picture prizes counts for something.