Thursday, September 21, 2006

Poor Unfortunate Souls

What's that old saying "They don't make them like they use to" That so applies to me. In my day animated films were grand. Musical. Plus they had voices. And now look at them --wasting away with flimsy celebrity voice-work (Monster House excepted --I do love that pretty little Maggie Gyllenhaal, and the grand dames Catherine O'Hara and Kathleen Turner --what voices!)

I see your dumbfounded looks. Now, you think I died? How sweet and naive. I live (as do my pets Flotsam & Jetsam who sent this message your way). Yes, the great characters live forever. Those deaths? --that's all done with movie magic. I love the magic and the movies. Californias right on the water, i'nn't? Don't think this sea witch doesn't appreciate Hollywood, a town full of fame and fortune. A town overflowing with poor unfortunates, like yourself, longing to be princes and princesses? My dear friends, Hollywood's what I do. It's what I liiiive for.

Now I admit that in the past I've been a nasty but I've reformed. I don't steal voices anymore. I am a honest spellcaster. People know exactly what they're getting. If they want to trade me their life force for a little thinspiration ..they've still got their pretty faces! I need all the power I can get for my big comeback. (Pity that those with the most life force to give won't make these deals. Bah!) But yesssss princesses, this town will soon belong to me.


Monster House, movies, film, animation, Disney, Anorexia, The Little Mermaid

1 comment:

Glenn Dunks said...


I recently did a blog entry about why the Shrek franchise is a horrible exercise is being clueless. One of two main points was the makers' inability to choose actors who have voices, but instead simply choose a bunch of celebrities. Even their non-celebrity voices weren't good choices.

I hate Shrek and Shrek 2 especially.