Monday, December 31, 2007

Overheard "Reel" New Years Resolutions

Briony: I promise to stop embellishing the truth.

Sweeney Todd: I will have vengeance

Robert Graysmith: I will stop obsessing on serial killers ... or, to be more specific I will stop obsessing on serial killers as soon as I finish this book.
and all the other ones I borrowed from the library. Really I will.
OK and the ones I ordered from Amazon. After that I will stop. I swear.

Leonidas: I vow to schedule that appointment with the otolaryngologist.

Agnes: I will no longer let the men in my life define me!

Plainview: I will drink all of your milkshakes
If you've overheard any new years resolutions from the stars this year, please share them in the comments. Maybe we'll add few to this list.


Cheurch said...

I'm switching to Lady Speed Stick the minute hit the cellblock

Karen Crowder (Tilda Swinton), Michael Clayton


I JUST can't find a pic of the sweaty armpit... and for good reason! HAPPY NEW YEAR!


NicksFlickPicks said...

Ellis/Rachel (Carice van Houten), from Black Book: "I promise to fight the... I mean, I promise to RESIST the – I mean, to have sex with the – I promise to trust the lawyer who I MEAN NOT TO TRUST HIM, definitely NOT to... trust? him? Anyway, I promise to be bisexu... I mean, I promise to escape or FACILITATE the escape of — — I promise (what'd I?) to remember to dye my roots more attentively. I promise not to dye everything if I'm just going to admit to anyone who asks — or, maybe I... I forgot what I promised. But now I'm a Mom!

Wong Chia Chi (Tang Wei), Lust Caution: I promise to be a cooler spy than that b***h.

John T said...

Harry Potter:

"I must not tell lies."

J.D. said...

Bess Throckmorton: "I'll try not to anger that bitc-- I mean, that wonderful, caring, just Queen Elizabeth EVER again...

I think she tapped my phones..."

Anonymous said...


I will not star in any direct-to-dvd features.

Catherine said...

Every third female character in a film this year: "I will use birth control".

El Gigante said...

I will come up with a "clever new year's resolution and pumpkin" pie.-Jenna (Keri Russel) from Waitress

Next year I vow to have more...perspective.-Anton Ego, Ratatouille

Next year I hope to be more "there"-Mumbled by someone who did or didn't resemble Bob Dylan

Next year I resolve to be more butterfly and less diving bell.-Jean-Dominique Bauby, Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Next year I will pack more fresh water.-Chris McCandless, Into the Wild

The last two beg the question is it ok to make jokes about fictional versions of actual people?

Anonymous said...

You mean fictional versions of dead actual people? Hm... not really, no.

El Gigante said...

My sincerest apologies, I never wanted to move away from the lighter tone of this original posting and realize now the last bit of comment was in poor taste.

Anonymous said...

"I resolve to procrastinate less" - Gabriela, 4 months, 3 weeks, 2 days

"I resolve to use less metaphorically laden names for my missions," - to the person who called the project to save Earth Icarus, Sunshine