Thursday, April 08, 2010

We Can't Wait: BURLESQUE

It's time to look at the movies that have us salivating with anticipation for this fresh new film year. I asked the whole Film Experience team to give me their "most anticipated" list and then we fused them together for a countdown which kicks off soon.

"We Can't Wait. Summer and Beyond"

Before we get to our dozen most awaited films, I've given everyone the go ahead to chat up their "orphan". That's the film from their List O' Impatience that the rest of us weren't quite as anxious to see. My highest ranking orphan was a musical. I know. I know. Such a shock. I could knock you over with a feather right now... a feathered boa.

Directed by: Steve Antin
Starring: CHER! That's all I needed to know.

Synopsis: Tess (that's CHER!) is a retired dancer and the owner of the struggling title venue. A small town girl named Ali (Not CHER!) arrives with a very big voice and becomes the venue's main attraction. Drama of multiple sorts follows.
Brought to you by: Screen Gems...and probably the popularity of the The Pussycat Dolls. Though they're really the low rent mall version of the hip neo-burlesque movement, if you ask me.
Expected release date: November 24th. Let's hope it's no turkey.

While it's possible that this movie will be terrible, that doesn't mean it won't be highly watchable. If it manages to be good ... oh happy day! Cher is a fine screen actress and we've barely seen her -- apart from that endless "farewell" tour -- in years and years and years. I suppose I'm vaguely curious to see if Christina Aguilera can act but I'm guessing she gets decent reviews even if she's merely adequate. After Britney's Crossroads and Mariah's Glitter debuts, the only way is up right? The supporting cast includes cheeky Alan Cumming, sparkly Kristen Bell, muscley Cam Gigante and streepy Stanley Tucci. And they're all costumed by the great Michael Kaplan, who I've already written about this week.

Finally, I've always found actor-turned-director Steve Antin "curious by association" as well as a little hunky. And that's even before he came out of the closet. I remember him best as the guy that mouthed off about his frenemy Sandra Bernhardt in Without You I'm Nothing and victimized
Jodie Foster in The Accused. I know others remember him more from a certain 80s sex comedy [nsfw] or from The Goonies. He wrote Burlesque with underrated screenwriter Susannah Grant (In Her Shoes, Pocahontas, Erin Brockovich) and Keith Merryman.

Will you be buying tickets or hiding once this film struts your way in fishnets?

"We Can't Wait: Summer and Beyond"
The "orphan" picks Nathaniel (Burlesque), JA (Love and Other Drugs), Jose (You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger), Craig (What's Wrong With Virginia?), Robert (True Grit) and Dave (Brighton Rock); Team Film Experience Countdown #12 It's Kind of a Funny Story, #11 Sex & the City 2, #10 Scott Pilgrim vs the World, #9 Somewhere, #8 The Kids Are All Right, #7 The Illusionist, #6 Toy Story 3, #5 Inception, #4 Rabbit Hole, #3 Never Let Me Go, #2 Black Swan and #1 The Tree of Life.


Chris said...

wow, looking forward to seeing Cher in film again, becuase unlike Madonna, Cher has been able to ccross over and back. I just know that we will soon see another Cher hit, so that she can continue to say that she had a hit in every decade!

Andrew K. said...

Speaking of Cher, I was watching The Witches of Eastwick today - a guilty-ish pleasure - and Cher out-acts everyone in the film including my personal favourite (and your fake mother) Susan Sarandon. I hope Burlesque lets her use her comedy chops, she does it so well.

Marsha Mason said...

I like this movie already, given its stars and synopsis. The only question is whether I'll admire it.

It just can't take itself the least bit seriously. If it's the right kind of warped it could be a real riot, especially with Cher, Cumming, and Tucci, who all know how to have a good time. Of course it looks like it could be a disaster but that's probably inevitable at this point given the subject manner and leads. I'm just not sure either of the writer's have a history of pulling something like this off, so I guess we'll just see, won't we?

Glenn Dunks said...

I cannot wait to see this movie. Friends are already talking about it! I hope it's less a Coyote Ugly and more of a Showgirls if it has to be, but I'd rather it be a Bring It On-esque pop masterpiece. I've always thought Christina would make a good heir to Cher's singer-turned-actress crown so I hope she's good. And with the likes of Stanley Tucci (!!!) and Kristen Bell, I'm sure it'll be a blast.

The Pretentious Know it All said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Pretentious Know it All said...

I find myself constantly defending Cher, or rather, her acting chops.

I'm just going to say it and challengers are more than free to step to me:

Dolly supporting character/performance of the 1980s.

Anonymous said...

The only way I'd miss this film is if somehow I became a hermit and eschewed all technology. As that is supremely unlikely to happen given my addiction to blogs and Facebook, I might grab some girls and make it an opening night thing. Margaritas will be involved.


@Tikabelle... don't become a hermit!

Dorian said...

I don't think I'll be able to watch this hot mess on the big screen. And I'll watch practically anything.

Chris Na Taraja said...

You may knock her and tease her on this blog and in public, but when her movie comes out, "all [of you] will come around and lay the money down!"

Bobby John said...

Nathaniel PLEASE tell us if you heard anything about the trailer or poster for BURLESQUE coming? Xtina and Chers stans are dying to see something from this movie! Can't wait anymore!!!

*fιghtεr* said...

Christina Aguilera <333 can't wait to see Burlesque! It's gonna be fun and entertaining. Christina's voice is the best!

Jason Adams said...

I hope Kristen Bell gets to show off her pipes! I've been waiting for that girl to do a damn musical.

@jazzt said...

I'm sooooo looking forward to this film. I'm a huge Cher fan so I'm biased about seeing her on the big screen after so long (STUCK ON YOU).
She sings in this. And you do have a fabulous cast - Stanley and Alan.
OMC if you see the trailer or clips TWEET ME!


JA -- YOU are waiting for someone to be in a musical? I'm so confused right now.

@jazzt -- i am also a huge Cher fan. You don't wanna know how often I used to listen to that comeback album in the year of Moonstruck. God, what a year that was for Cher. 3 movies. hit records. everything.

@BobbyJohn -- i haven't heard much of substance yet but I'll undoubtedly keep posting about it.Cuz ME WANT.

Jason Adams said...

Nat, my Kristen Bell adoration defies all the rules, I tell ya what. I'm also dying to see Jake in a musical after his Dreamgirls number on SNL all them years back. I play by my own dang rules! ;-)

Sean said...

I feel mean writing this, but I think Aguilera is probably the least interesting aspect of this project.
If it's a hit she'll think it's because of her. Yes, I'm totally judging her.

I'm seeing it for Cher!
(and, okay, Ms. Bell as well)

jimmy said...

I LOVE Cher - but this has all the markings of a real bad stinkeroo. she dropped out too early - passed on the addams family, thelma & louise....then made all those paid half hour commercial shows shows. oh well - she's got the $$$$.....but she passed on a potentially great film career. now her face is not good - doesn't look real.

Ashley P said...

All I needed to hear was Cumming and Tucci, especially Tucci. Can't wait!!!

Walter L. Hollmann said...

Burlesque is an orphan entry? That is CA-RAZY! It's my #1 most anticipated. Hello? Cher! Xtina! Dance numbers! Underwear! How can anyone NOT anticipate this???


Walter. I think it's ca-razy too. I'm like huh...what now? when it kept not showing up on the lists.

@jazzt said...

hey well this has been leaked the Burlesque script

it's a 2008 draft.
OH MY CHERRRRRRRRRR i am resisting the temptation not to read it. but i've scanned page ONE! WOAH!! Tess screams Cher.
Enjoy or wait

and Nathaniel..yes that was a great Cher year. i still listen to those CD's :D

Bobby John said...

Here's a more up-to-date draft of the script:

This one is from early 2009, contains Susannah Grant's revisions and generally sh*ts all over the older version @jazzt posted (it had Diablo Cody's revisions)