Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Strike A This Pose

It's the pose of 1,000 starlets.

Some hang left. Some hang right.

Laura Linney just hangs. Look at those arms just plain as can be, refusing to perform for the paparazzi. She won't win an Oscar until she learns how to do it. Laura look around you. Talent isn't everything. Why aren't you posing?

"I'm late walking into the Kodak now y'all. See you in 2012"

I mean you're just being your same old fabulous/unfabulous great actress self. Same 90s hairdo, same everyday pretty. Oh Laura... the Oscars don't want great consistent actresses... they want bubbly couture princesses. You're not even trying to be 25! What's wrong with you? [/sarcasm]

Back to the posing. The A listers find the pose of 1000 starlets so natural they develop their own signature variations on it.

Here we see Amy Adams in perfect form, demonstrating the double akimbo tuck. Cameron works her patented chiropratwistic single so effortlessly it's like she came out of the womb this way. Painful for her mother surely but there's a price to pay for all that fabulous.

Thank you Billie... you paid it forward.

oscar night in review in three parts
live blogged five hours o' fun. what was I thinking?
Oscar's declining ratings what it doesn't or shouldn't mean
Fashion Review the good the bad and the neither
Split Screen Madness watching the nominated faces in the boxes. It's great drama

I'm taking a long weekend ... call it the post Oscar crash. It will involve some sleeping. Possibly a massage. And definitely the finishing of Kathleen Turner's Send Yourself Roses. Bitch has me flipping pages like you wouldn't believe. I have no idea why. It's not literature! But please come back on Monday, now, you hear? THE FILM EXPERIENCE operates year 'round. We just like the Oscars a lot. A whole new year* of movie obsessing awaits.

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[*you're aware that Oscar night is New Year's Eve, I hope. Only now are we in the first week of 2008 ;) cinematically speaking...]


Chris said...

I just finished Kathleen's book, it's great in that kind of bitchy, whispers behind your back, makes you feel dirty but its a good dirty, kind of book.

Kurtis O said...

My favorite lovely ladies of the evening were the ladies in red:
Heidi Klum, Katherine Heigl (though the circle on the shoulder was irritating), and Annie Hathaway (I love how wonderfully white she is - and how she embraces it. Whoa, that sounded so racist! Not intended to be.) I also loved Marion Cotillard's look...very...different. And since I'm already on the path of treating this like it's a fashion blog, I may as well go ahead and mention Jen Garner. While I'm usually not a fan, I though she looked beautiful. And now comes the real relevance...I looove the new banner. So Oscar magic. Cheers.

Catherine said...

Haha, LOVE Laura Linney's facial expression in that second photo.

Neel Mehta said...

Thanks for the evidence that proves "I'm a little teapot" is the default position for today's red carpet highlight.

Apparently, though, it only applies to women. Anyone else remember the late Heath Ledger's similar stance as a presenter, and how people gave him hell for it?

Emma said...

It was a great day to be on the red carpet on Sunday. Off the shoulder looks seemed to be in too.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant, Mr. R.,

and that's why you deserve our money every month.

So, people, let's give Mr. R. a hand and help him keep the site.

Marcelo - Brazil.