Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Best Actress, Singular

Annette here, Mrs. Warren Beatty. Not that you need a reminder. It was just weeks ago that you happily gazed upon our royal visage at the Golden Globes or perhaps it was just a few days ago when you journeyed to my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame to give it a good shine.

Nathaniel asked me to talk about my Oscar ballot even though I am not in the running for this year's Best Actress prize (re this mistake: Kate Capshaw and Rita Wilson respected colleagues in the Hollywood community assure me that it isn't fair to have the best actress singular competing with four not-quite-best others. They placed their votes elsewhere from pity, you see) I don't know how much you know, civilians, about the voting process but renaissance men like my husband, the Oscar winner Warren Beatty, who works as an actor/ director /writer /producer nominate in several categories. I nominate in 5: all acting categories and the big picture. We all vote on all the prizes. Apparently Nathaniel doesn't know as much as he thinks because we very exclusive Academy types are not in the habit of publicly stating where said votes go. But nevertheless, I've graciously descended from Mulholland Drive to give you a few hints as to which boxes I'm checking.

In supporting actress I'm voting for the girl who most reminds me of a favorite from my enormous domestic staff. Supporting Actor was easy -if you manage to steal a movie from my friend Jack, you get my vote. It's not easy to do. In fact, I thought I was the only one who could do it... please, you know I was the only one you were looking at in our scenes together in Mars Attacks! In the lead actor category I'm voting for Peter O'Toole. I don't care that I'm not supposed to say it. Aging legendary lotharios? Check my box.

For the Second-Best Actress I'm voting strategically. There's a girl who is likely to be considered overdue the next time I'm nominated if she doesn't win soon. Get on with it Hollywood. I've reminded my friends in Hollywood that you can't be sentimental about your ballots. Go ahead and vote for me the best one every time. It feels silly to make this hypothetical but I'll humor you: If I'm the best every time, I deserve 15 Oscars.

I'll wave to you from the red carpet,
____~The Bening

p.s. On Tuesday I noticed a spot of mud on my star on the Walk of Fame and it's still there today. Will one of you get to that pronto? I can't imagine how you missed it. Thank you.

tags: Annette Bening, movies, celebrities, Jack Nicholson, Oscars, Academy Awards


adam k. said...

Sad that all of The Bening's favorites are going to lose.

Anonymous said...

These Bening posts are very very funny, but, in a certain way, you make me hate her even more... I mean, its just like you were saying she was playing herself in Being Julia, nad, how could anyone stand a woman like Julia Lambert?

- cal roth

adam k. said...

I'm pretty sure Nat would like Julia Lambert.

Hence the gold medal.

Poli said...

hehe, More of The Bening, please!

In regards to her faves losing, I'm thinking Peter O'Toole is more dangerous to Forest than we think. Just a hunch.

Hopefully Kate will take a year off the next time The Bening is nominated.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps someone should inform Ms. Bening that one can only be a member of one branch of the academy. Hence, her husband-unit can't vote in as many categories as she seems to think.