Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Tuesday Top Ten: Bald Heads

tuesday top ten: new series for the list lover in you and the list maker in me

I wasn't going to go here but as I logged into my blogger HQ Britney Spears started playing on my iTunes (to paraphrase the song she's singing to me right now: she drives me crazy. Seriously, girl, pull it together). You may have heard a million times in the past 24 hours that Britney Spears has shaved her head. Some people look hot with a shaved head (Natalie Portman, take a bow). Some people do not (sorry Britney). I shaved my head last week but somehow I didn't end up on CNN or ET. What gives?

10 Favorite Bald-Headed Characters
This list is dedicated to Oscar, the most coveted bald-headed man on the planet.

10 Channing Tatum. Shaved heads count. Any excuse to post pictures...

09 "Tommy" Hugh Jackman in The Fountain. Hugh has beeyootiful hair but if you're gonna be straight up bald for a third of a movie, you might as well pair it with pajamas, tai chi and floating bubbles of light for the maximum memorable factor (previous Hugh drooling)

08 Silver Surfer. A literal embodiment of the "chrome dome" I loved loved loved this character in the comics. But I can't believe they're going to try and movie-ize him. This is not a transferrable character... on account of the unintentional giggles factor. A character who flies around on a surfboard through outer space? In a movie?

07 Bruce Willis. If we're talking action stars, give me Willis's empty dome over Nic Cage's plugs and wigs any second of any day forever. Thank you.

06 Bjork in the "Hunter" video. Björk doesn't look conventionally attractive bald (Britney is not alone) but one of the greatest things about this icelandic genius is her complete lack of vanity. Everything is in service to the art. And this video is striking.

05 Sinéad O'Connor back in the day. It started with the totally brilliant "The Lion and the Cobra" which we 80s new wave kids worshipped. The rest of the world freaked out en masse when "Nothing Compares 2 U" arrived and shot to the top of the charts. I never thought I'd be comparing Sinéad to Britney but she also kinda lost it in the fires of white hot fame. Not everyone can handle it.

04 "Ripley". Never mind that pesky prison colony lice infestation that prompted the buzz job--this was a great look. Somehow Sigourney Weaver's signature character was even fiercer and sexier in the underappreciated Alien³.

03 "Colonel Kurtz" in Apocalypse Now. Our first glimpse of Marlon Brando as the mad Colonel all bathed in shadows has to be one of the great entrances in film history. (personal canon entry)

02 Yul Brynner as "Rameses" in The Ten Commandments I know it's terrible but I always wanted him to win when I watched this Biblical epic as a kid. Also: The King and I. "Etcetera etcetera etcetera"

01 Professor Xavier. Because all my life I wanted to attend "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters" in New York. I wanted to fly in the Blackbird. Take classes with Kitty Pryde. Train the Danger Room with Cyclops. And chase Nightcrawlers tail ... TMI. But anyway. I love Charles Xavier in print and onscreen (Patrick Stewart didn't disappoint in the films) and it's wonderful that there's at least one iconic bald comic book character that's not a super villain.

Related Post: A History of... Bald Women
Previous Tuesday Top Ten: Celebrity Couples


adam k. said...

I guess you're not much of a fan of Jean-Luc Picard then.

Anonymous said...

When you said RIPLEY, I assumed you meant Malkovitch from RIPLEY'S GAME!

John T said...

I'm sorry, but where is everybody's favorite baldie: Oscar?!?


me no like star trek. it's my one aversion in genre. i know that makes me a lonely boy but there it is.


omg. john t. omg. my apologies, thousandfold.

J.D. said...

I never liked the Star Trek idea. Too geeky in my mind. I sat through 16 2/3 of theatrical ROTK time, but Star Trek goes too far.

What's with you and Channing Tatum?

RC said...

no ben kingsley?

Anonymous said...

what about Telly Savalas aka Kojak????

Anonymous said...

Oh c'mon. If you're really an '80s new wave kid, where's Peter Garrett?