Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Box Office Blather

[This post was written 06/05 but blogger was fighting w/ me. I don't want y'all to think I was cleaning my apartment on MY BIRTHDAY. -ed]

And now an uncharacteristic look at the box-office. But I'm avoiding cleaning my apartment and trying not to fantasize about all those birthday gifts you're undoubtedly about to shower me with.

01 The Break-Up $38+
So yes. I'm happy for directed Peyton Reed who needed a success but unfortunately for me I'm also not dumb so I know this means that people will think Jennifer Aniston is a movie star which she certainly isn't. A much hyped romantic comedy arriving with absolutely zero competition from its own genre OR any other genre for that matter. Piece o cake for high returns.
02 X-Men: The Last Stand $34+
They're already trying to spin this at Box Office Mojo like the record fall (-66.6% --ouch) only indicates that everyone saw it already. Um, don't record drops mean bad word of mouth? That's what they meant last time. And the time before that. And the time before that.
03 Over the Hedge $20+
Holding well.
04 The Da Vinci Code $19+
Why do people think this is so fascinating?
05 Mission: Impossible III $4+
The definition of an OK movie. Does what it does competently.
06 Poseidon $3+
If all remakes tanked this badly maybe we'd be free of them?
07 RV $3+
Every year there are modest hits that no one you knew ever saw and no one would admit to seeing even if they did. Who goes to see them? We don't know.
08 See No Evil $2+
Slashers never gets old for people. For me: zzzzzz and also: Ewww.
09 An Inconvenient Truth $1+
This movie was fascinating. You'd think a documentary about a lecture/presentation on global warming would be a little dry. It's not. I was riveted the whole time. Go see it.*
10 Just My Luck $under a million.
Lindsay... we love you. You just gotta a) stop partying b) stop being in dumb movies c) do something good like a Robert Altman pic --oh wow, thanks babe! (if you haven't done it yet, enter the contest to win a A Prairie Home Companion's movie poster. I've got two to give away.)

* Tangent. Rant. Warning: Seeing An Inconvenient Truth could cause copious weeping for all good Americans considering that after spending two hours with a solid smart compassionate leader they have to leave the theater remembering that there's a dumb bigoted asshole currently spreading hate from the pulpit of the White House instead of this charismatic strong Al Gore fella. And no comments from trolls please. Because listen up: No matter how squirmy gay marriage may make you this is the constitution we're talking about. You don't use it to enshrine discrimination no matter what you're personal feelings are. Take my personal feelings for example. I am absolutely convinced that fundamentalists/extremists of all religions are ruining the world with their black and white thinking (it's my own black and white thinking in response) but I recognize that whether or not I'm correct it's a personal belief. I have NO right trying to infringe upon their rights to assuage my own fears about them. This is the constitution. I wonder when Republicans will wake up and clean up their own party: they're catering to people who don't even understand the true principles of being an American. You know, like, freedom of religion (which requires separation of church and state to function properly --duh!) and that pesky "with liberty and justice for all."

tags: Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston, movies, film, Box Office, Al Gore, Bush, politics, Gay Marriage,


Anonymous said...

Look, Nate, Lindsay Lohan reads your blog:

RC said...

interesting rant...i didn't expect that in your box-office post.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

Glenn Dunks said...

very nice rant. I don't live in America, but Australia essentially has the exact same church and state issues plus our leader is a bigot whose also intent on destroying our livelihoods and killing family life with new industrial relation reforms.

Woo, we win.

Glenn Dunks said...

Oh! I was actually going to donate some birthday cashola into your... thing. Anyway, but where is the donate button you mentioned a while back. I can't seem to find it.


it's on the main site


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