Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Weekly Movie Horoscope

I've always wanted to write a horoscope column. Since my blog is all about pleasuring myself following my muse wherever she make take me (and hoping you're accidentally entertained in the process) I'm a doin' it. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Weekly Movie Horoscope
April 26th -May 2nd Special Pfeiffer Pfixation Edition

Aries (3.21-4.19)
You'll probably be feeling fired up for the next week with that new moon hitting. Leap but by all means, think about the leap first. Careful not to be insensitive. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Beth Cappadora in The Deep End of the Ocean. No small children are going missing, don't worry. It's just, well, quit giving your significant other those death glares!

Taurus (4.20-5.20)
That new moon is shining just for you. Place yourself first this week and try to get a good fresh luck at things. You might be surprised to see how close everything is to falling into place. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Michelle Pfeiffer herself! Celebrate your birthday like you're a movie star. Even if it's not for a couple of weeks start celebrating early.

Gemini (5.21-6.20)
While most of the signs are enjoying new beginnings this week, you've got to hurry and tie up some loose ends first --you're all over the place. I know because I'm one of you. Our Pfeiffer Talisman: Melanie Parker in One Fine Day. Watch out for trips and falls at work. Take a good long look at yourself in the mirror: Yep, still hot.

Cancer (6.21-7.22)
This might be a big demanding week but stay low key --under the radar even. Strike when you're good and ready. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Isabeau in Ladyhawke. She only came out at night but my god how she looked in the moonlight. Even if you don't have an Etienne of your own, I bet you have a Mouse. Someone is protecting you.

Leo (7.23-8.22)
The next couple of days could be rough at work or school...but take heart, this weekend will provide roaring good fun. Think twice before saying yes to more demands on your time early next week. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Jo Ann Vallenari in Tequila Sunrise. Feel free to call someone on their shit and get your freak on with someone even hotter.

Virgo (8.23-9.22)
This week will be smooth and easy but don't spend --invest and save. That's not sexy advice but that's what the stars are saying. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Angela DeMarco in Married to the Mob. Changes are definitely coming but don't worry. Dance with a little more abandon. Live! Your fortunes will soon change for the better.

Libra (9.23-10.22)
Seek our your family this week. Surround yourself with that warmth. Good things may be ahead financially, too. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Madame de Tourvel in Dangerous Liaisons. While Mercury is travelling through Aries stay very alert: Double check everything. Don't be gullible. Protect yourself first, than worry about others.

Scorpio (10.23-11.21)
Busy. Busy. Busy. Not that you should slow down or anything. Have at it. You love the moon and it's new so let your creative (and other) energies loose. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Catwoman in Batman Returns. Um... you know what I said about letting loose? Now pull it back, tiger. Keep your anger and libido in check. No matter how yummy you feel.

Sagittarius (11.22-12.21)
Things feeling a bit chaotic right now? If so put on your favorite song. Hell, make a whole playlist full of them. Turn it up loud and dive into work and plans for the future. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Ellen Olenska in Age of Innocence. A new epic all-consuming romance might feel irresistible but. but. but... extreme caution my friend!

Capricorn (12.22-1.19)
A good week to make some spiritual or creative strides as the New Moon is in Taurus. Don't get too caught up in the minutae and kill your momentum. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Claire Spencer in What Lies Beneath. It's time to follow your curiousity wherever it may lead. Romance might be tricky this week.

Aquarius (1.20-2.18)
If you're nervous about all the chaos (internal or otherwise) rest assured that others aren't seeing it. At work or in the class room you're pretty sparkly right now. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Sukie Ridgemont in The Witches of Eastwick. With your 5th House of Romance all lit up, you'll be feeling playful. Enjoy it but be careful what you wish for.

Pisces (2.19-3.20)
Take advantage of that New Moon. Now is the time for those changes you've been contemplating all winter. Your Pfeiffer Talisman: Titania in A Midsummer Nights Dream. While Venus is in your sign be careful with your inner drama queen --whether your wildly in love or extremely pissed (maybe with the same person?) cool down.

Make it a great week all. If you know someone who needs this cinematic/astrological advice ,please use this little e-mail post button just below. Maybe they need to focus on their Pfeiffer talisman in the worst way.

tags: Michelle Pfeiffer, movies, celebrities, horoscope, zodiac


StinkyLulu said...

Ok. Virgo's my sign. Angela deMarco is my pfavorite. I was thinking of making a major purchase this week. Thanks MissNatha.


ok good. and these are based in scientific FACT too


well seriously. i did study up a little.

Javier Aldabalde said...

I'm Cancer, but why do I need to hold back this week? Seriously I should be roaring or something.


roar only when you're truly ready.
the stars say it. it must be true.
if you're truly ready ~ do it! [insert Nike symbol here]

Anonymous said...

Hehe, I really like this, Nathaniel! Michelle has had a perfect role for every sign. :)

Anonymous said...


Hahahahahaha...woo, okay, so I'm a leo, and it's actually hilarious how much my horoscope actually relates to what is going on right now. I'd go into it, but alas, it is not appropriate for public view!

Glenn Dunks said...

Libra: "Good things may be ahead financially, too."

Whoa. I'm working a lot this week including a public holiday which means I'll be getting something like $450 next week (which is a lot for me). Creeepy.

Ramification said...

I'm a Libra as well and I have just been offered an opportunity that will help out my finanaces significantly if it works out.... that is very creepy!

Calum Reed said...

I'm a Taurus like Michelle :)

Everything is close to falling into place? Hmm, I hope so lol.


happy bday than Cal (well, soon at any rate)

POPBYTES said...

I LOVE THIS! So cool - thanks for the hard work on this! Rock on!

Anonymous said...

Sagittarius here. When am I not chaotic? When am I not diving into plans for the future? When am I not pursuing an epic, all-consuming romance? What other kind of romance is there?

Calum Reed said...

Aww thanks! A week today :)

Anonymous said...

Just like to raise one point. in the year where cate blanchett won for masterclass mimicry of Hepburn, you somehow revered the performance. however, when PSH did the same thing, derrogated the performance by implying that it is mimicry is a cliche acting thing. Your Oscar predix are interesting but somehow I can see you are biased.


curious though that you feel i denigrated that performance when it was in my top five of the year in the category?

but i stand by my feeling that mimicry is not the be all and end all of acting. merely one skill within an actors toolbox.

Anonymous said...

You painfully included PSH so as to seem not too leftist to keep yourself agreeable to your readers. You wanted to be righteous, whether consciously or unconsciously.

A fact it is that Cate mimicked a person with a lot of referenes for another person to study- films, friends, autobio's; while Capote's character isn't as rich as that of Hepburn and so it was a tougher role to fill and create deprived. Please do not say that you overlooked that fact. You just refused to see it as you really wanted Ennis Delmar to win, the character, but not necessarily the performance of Ledger.

Anonymous said...

it is not actually my intention to lambast you. i just actually find it tragic that there is a collective dislike of the academy when in fact bloggers like you fall for the same mistakes the members make- self-gratifications- only in your case it is on the purpose of justifying your own personal issues.

flawed it is already that hundreds of truly remarkable films are disgraced by the stupid faceteous things called Awards. artistic geniuses are brought to arena supposedly fighting for their honour when in fact only the studios are behind it. for true art to emerge winner in this already flawed scenario, people like you must learn to participate selflessly in the living art form.

Watch 2046 again and you'd know what I'm blabbing about.

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