Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Totally Gratuitous Jake Gyllenhaal Post

Hump Day Hottie: Jake Gyllenhaal
10 Reasons to Love Jake
Dedicated to the 11 people who remain Jakenostic.

Full, brown, stylish. Want to run your fingers through it?
2. The eyes: adorably deep and twinkly orbs of emotion.
3. Light downy arm hair. Plus the toussling of one's own hair. G-Rated Autoeroticism --perfect for the whole family.
4. Broad shoulders. Maybe not so evident in this pic but we've seen proof in Brokeback and Jarhead.
5. This is a T-Shirt. It's presence in this picture seems totally unneccesary but maybe he's planned ahead?
6. Muscle. [cue: Diana Ross tune]
7. Treasure trail --has any portion of the physique ever been so appropriately nicknamed?
8. *ahem* moving on...
9. You can pretend this is your hand. Jake is accomodating that way (see also secret purpose of #5)
10. Everything about this picture is designed for your viewing pleasure. This is true of virtually any photo of Jakey-Poo. He's not just accomodating. He's kind. He's a gift that keeps on giving.

External Jake-centric posts for your viewing pleasure this fine Wednesday: The Gilded Moose * The Bosh * Brokeback Blokes * My New Plaid Pants * Defamer *

Consider this the last episode of the first season of Hump Day Hotties. That's right. Film Experience's regular Wednesday feature is going on hiatus. Gotta keep mixing it up, you know. Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal was an easy choice to send us off as he's obviously the most celebrated hottie of the past year. The kick off of my Tuesday series 'A History of...' started with the Gyllenhaals and that's the most often visited post of this blog's entire history (Followed closely by 'She's a Bitch @ The Movies' and the Oscar night recap ).

How about that?

Hump Day Hotties has been a Polysexual Blog Offering. The 24 episode first season featured Group Action Capote Boys, Viggo & Maria , ABBA, Fiennes & Weisz, The Men That Got Away, Wet Movie Stars Men Bernal, Bloom, Murphy, Craig, Rhys-Meyers, Penn, Kaneshiro, Gunn Women Li, McAdams, Madonna, "Starbuck" , Newton, Béart, Streep, "Selene" and the uncategorizable "Lady Tottington"


Anonymous said...

Wait a minute...

You're gay?

Jason Adams said...

It's already gotten close on several occasions, but I think, one of these days, I'll do nothing but stare at pictures of Jake all day long, until I slip into some sort of Gyllen-coma. I need some sort of help, a twelve-step program maybe. The unfortunate name that I can resist being labelled with no longer - Gyllenhaalic - only proves that this is a disease. I won't be looked down upon any further! My name is Jason, and I am a Gyllenhaalic. I wonder if my insurance covers this?

adam k. said...

I love that this photo came on the same day as my Brokeback Mountain DVD.

Glenn Dunks said...

I too am a Gyllehaalic. It's a fatal disease as, just like the sun, if you stare at it too long you damage your eyes. But, this leaves a permanant imprint of Jake in your vision for the best of your life.

He IS the gift that keeps on giving.

I like the fact that he doesn't wax his chest! Like, serious. Whod've thunk it that a young sexy male would actually choose to KEEP his sexy body hair. It's near unheard of.

Ramification said...

How can you tell how often a post is visited ? Oh, big shout out to the JG love, him in Jarhead = Unparalled Hotness!

Anonymous said...

I did a post on him too: