Friday, July 30, 2010

A Story of Run-On Linkings

Sometimes when I fall out of the loop as I just did, taking a few days away from normal internettings to finish a freelance gig I have trouble getting back on the horse because I subscribe to a lot of websites and blogs and I almost never have time to read them and if I stop reading for even one day I end up lost inside multiple levels of nightmares while trying to find my footing again because there's an awful a lot of "news" on the internet that feels totally urgent even when it's not and it's less news than rumors and then retractions of rumors to be replaced by other rumors and which, well, we'd really all be better off it it was all opinion pieces


like "which will be a better 2012 film The Avengers or Batman 3?" because at least that's honest rather than the rumor mill which can take HOURS to sift through and only exists to generate page views and, really now, who cares if The Wasp is going to be in the Avengers when The Scarlet Witch (my favorite) isn't and why would anyone care that Joss Whedon is directing it when it's so sorely lacking in awesome girlpower (see the monotonous photo above for too much penis) and that's like his trademark thang and if people step outside their comfort zone it's sometimes really painful and that's what American Idol is always teaching us and don't even get me started on what a horrible lesson that is to drill into people week after week "STAY IN YOUR BOX!!!" because sometimes the world would really benefit from everyone stepping out of their boxes and doing something a little different, you know, instead of just relentlessly copying previous cool things whether it was their cool thing to begin with or not but...

okay okay okay some people like Gwyneth Paltrow probably shoulda stayed in the acting box instead of wasting her youth on GOOP and what is all this sudden buzz about her Oscar chances for a reboot of Crazy Heart because I had no idea she was acting again and everytime someone asks me about her and the Best Original Song category I actually have no earthly idea what they're talking about -- stop e-mailing me but yes, yes, I thought it was interesting what Tom Hardy said -- because I haven't really been reading the internet in three days because I haven't had much time but even when I don't have much time I totally notice things like how cute Nicole Kidman is looking or that Cheyenne Jackson is going to be on Glee even though he's not playing one of the mysteriously absent gay Rachel dads who make NO narrative sense because gay dads would be alloverthatshit if their daughter was that talented ...not that Glee has ever excelled in making narrative sense but my point is this: sometimes you just have to stop trying to catch up and you have to scream "Begone Old Movie News From Tuesday That I Never Read About!" and simply state "I'll just have to start again from Friday July 30th, 2010 at 5:01 PM," you know?

So that's what I'm saying and doing. How are you?
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7 comments:

badmofo said...

Hm. That is a lot of penis.

Talented, Oscar-worthy penis sure but still...

kin said...

Lovely post.

pomme said...

About Tom hardy's "outing",RDJ yet said he had tried sex with men in Rolling stones Mag!

Anonymous said...

First Reese Witherspoon nets an Oscar for playing a country legend in a relentlessly middle of the road biopic, just like Sissy Spacek did back in 1981 (though, to be fair, Coal Miner's Daughter walks all over Walk the Line when it comes to acting). Then Jeff Bridges earns his for playing the Robert Duvall part in Tender Mercies-redux. Now the floodgates seem to have been opened: Paltrow, Sarsgaard (the Bill Monroe biopic), and now Russell Crowe (Philip Noyce's upcoming Dirt Music). Is playing a country musician the latest ploy for Oscar gold?

Jenn said...

Nicole Kidman has just reminded of why I love her so.

I fear for "The Avengers", I'm afraid it won't live up to its expectations. And that is indeed a tad too much penis.

And I don't get the point of GOOP...

Paolo said...

Gwyneth Paltrow sounded convincing as a country singer. That's scary.

Kyle said...

I still think Marvel is taking a big gamble with Joss...he hasn't exactly proven his JJ Abrams-like credentials yet and his one major motion picture that's been released (Serenity) was a terrible bore (yet better than the dull tv show that preceded it). He's a fine screenwriter though...so, cautious optimism.