Thursday, May 18, 2006

Paris is Only a City in France

I love skimming gossip blogs for daily amusements. The ones I check in with most frequently are popbytes, The Gilded Moose, and what would tyler durden do? (big dogs like pink is the new blog, A Socialite's Life, Defamer, and DListed are also much fun). But here's why I could never write one:

Paris Hilton

Just yesterday I was reading the sparkly Glitterati Gossip (another I enjoy) and she was spinning the oh-so-charming tale of two trashy talent-free rich & famous types (Paris Hilton & Brandon Davis) verbally abusing a trashy talented rich & famous type that I like very much (Lindsay Lohan). Seems that Lindsay is "poor" and therefore "disgusting" What that says about the rest of us who don't earn millions of dollars each time we complete a project at work we can only imagine. So obviously we are all worthy of Paris's contempt.

And yet... and yet... people seem to like her. Magazines puts her on the cover. To twist Paris' latest inane catchphrase : that's NOT sexy.

My feeling is this: We should only obsess on talented people! Any idiot can be born into a wealthy family. Celebrities who think they are above it all should only be entitled to that feeling if we have placed them up high on a pedestal because we had no other choice --because they have levels of talent chutzpah and charisma that no mere civilian could ever hope to muster if they had three lifetimes in which to do it (think Madonna!)

Here's the cool part if you love gossip...

Reportage on the rich, famous, crazy, stupid and celebrity obsessions in general would not suffer if we drew these lines. There's still more than enough trashy bizarre dumb talented celebrities to make for good copy (Courtney Love, La Lohan, Britney & Whitney, Mimi who is now emancipated, Tom Cruise, etc... the list goes on forever. Truly.) Why be obsessed with people who have only trashiness to offer? Why is everyone into reading about Paris Hilton? It's like celebrating that chick in junior high who made everyone else's lives miserable. Is it just mass self-loathing from the populace?

Join me in this cause people: Ignore her. If we do it for long enough she might go away. Refuse to buy magazines when she's on the cover --change the channel if she's on TV. Let us only celebrate trash when it comes armed with talent! I PROMISE you there will still be enough human garbage for our amusement.

This is hopefully the last thing this blogger will ever say about Paris Hilton. Unless she does start making lots of movies. *Shudder*

tags: Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Brandon Davis, gossip, celebrities, actors, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, blogging, entertainment, Blog


Merchant said...

No disrespect to Elsa Lanchester...but doesn't Parasite Hilton look like the Bride of Frankenstein on that magazine cover?

Anonymous said...


I'm right there with you on this one.

I honestly NEVER buy a magazine (or anything else) if Paris *gag* Hilton *barf* is front and center (or anywhere visible). The problem is I do subscribe to magazines that sometimes inexplicably put this bitch on the cover (much to my chagrin).

Trust me, I was NOT at all happy last fall after opening my mailbox only to find her wretchedness peering back at me from the cover of Vanity Fair. Vanity Fair, people! This is my bible -- how dare she! I already know of course that she has no shame, but what's the editor's or publisher's excuse? It's utter rubbish. Then on the cover of the latest issue of Out, there she is again, taunting me AND defiling Jean Harlow with a tacky homage.

America needs to get rid know what? From now on, I won't even call her by name.


P.S. Paris is also a town in Texas. Go figure.

Glenn Dunks said...

Australia has a Paris, too!

I used to like Paris. I thought she was like a car crash. It was all so tragic yet I couldn't turn away. Yet now it's like the part of a car crash where they have to pull the bodies out. It's ugly and not nice.

And especially after the Lindsay thing I kind despise her now.

She's worth $7mil so that makes her POOR! lol. THey're deluded.

Jason Adams said...

I'm so happy that my office stopped getting US Weekly delivered to it. I feel so liberated not knowing who wore the same outfit to different events, why celebrities are just like me, and what sort of oven-cleaner Lisa Rinna uses.

And yes, Paris is useless. But I did like that she seemed to get the gag about a lot of people going to see House of Wax specifically to watch her get killed. Because that, my friends, was an immensely satisfying scene to watch. And afterwards, I felt cheap and dirty. Paris won again.

Big Daddy said...

Magazines? Magazines are so 20th Century.


John T said...

Two things:

1. The Paris Boycott, I've been trying it for months now-if we all join hands, we can return to the days when Oprah, Julia, and Leo were in the tabloids instead of Paris and the rest of her reality tv pseudo-celebs.

2. I can't wait for Prairie Home Companion!

Anonymous said...

Isn't these girls 15 minutes of fame over yet? Enough is enough already.