Friday, May 05, 2006

Psychological Profile by iPod

Is there anything these buggers can't do? Saw this at Johnny A Go Go... You turn on your iPod. Shuffle. Play. The songs that come up answer the following questions in order (You can't change the questions and you can't skip songs. Be honest).

So here goes...

1. How does the world see you?
Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk by Rufus Wainwright. Oh no. I guess people find me addictive but bad for them. A little too sweet, fattening, harmful for you. The song ends: "So please be kind if I'm a mess" haaaaaa ha --Um. Maybe I should not go on.

2. Will I have a happy life?
The Promise by When in Rome. Oh, sweet. A song about friendship.

3. What do my friends think of me?
1979 by Smashing Pumpkins. I can't divine a meaning here but I love it.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Talula by Tori Amos. Maybe I'm someone's 'little fig newton'. Or maybe I'm worth losing if I'm worth something? Tori loves to play it ambiguous-like. I have to admit: I was kind hoping I'd get some nasty jam like "Drrrty" by XTina. Is this wrong?

5. How can I make myself happy?
Don't Fence Me In by The Talking Heads. Down with restrictions and inhibitions apparently. It looks like free love for all (but only if you can decipher whether or not you secretly lust after me based on the lyrics to Talula)

6. What should I do with my life?
Central Park from the musical See What I Wanna See. This one scares me. Very few of you will know this but the song is about a man who is a successful corporate guy who basically loses his shit, quits his job, becomes homeless and searches for God. True story: I lost my shit. I quit my job. But no way am I doing the homeless routine if I can help it.

7. Will I ever have children?
Heaven by The Eurythmics. Well Annie is whispering "I'd love to" and "just what you need" and "takes a little time" in the background.

8. What is some good advice for me?
Long Time Gone by the Dixie Chicks. Acceptance of change "and it ain't comin' back again" in other words: Let it go! Good advice.

9. How will I be remembered?
Pale Shelter by Tears for Fears. This is not flattering. I'm either the needy control freak singer or the cold and withholding lover that the song is about? If The Boyfriend is reading this and nodding his head in agreement to either one (or both), keep it to yourself. "Don't Speak!"

10. What's my signature dance song?
Juke Box Blues by Reese Witherspoon as June Carter Cash. I'm a little bit country... who knew?

11. What's my current theme song?
Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill. I'm down with this soul searching. Had to stop being what others expected me to be "And I made up my mind to define my own destiny".

12. What do others think my current theme song is?
Sleep to Dream by Fiona Apple. Stubborn, pissed off, and determined. Yep.

13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Say Ahhh... by Deee-Lite. Maybe my funeral will be attended by radical faeries and devolve into a big orgy? "Check my spot. Dig my swirl. I'm a liberated girl"

14. What type of men do I like?
The Origin of Love from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I guess the answer is that I like my men androgynous. Is this about that time when I obsessed on The Velvet Goldmine for an entire year?

15. How's my love life?
Get Up and Go by the Go-Gos. Er...

Now I really must say goodbye and begin performing some sort of holy water exorcism on my iPod which is clearly possessed by dark forces because it knows WAY too much about my inner psyche. It's like a demon therapist without a confidentiality agreement. Yikes.

Anyway, I showed you mine. Now you show me yours. If you have a blog ... tag your it. Tell us what your iPod says about you! Press play and answer those 15 questions with the songs. Feel free to put a link to your post in the comments section.

tags: iPod, music, playlist


adam k. said...

Whoa... this was a great post. You're iPod is clearly an evil genius, rather like Hal in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Maybe the iPod is a descendent of the Hal?

I had been cool to the film experience lately due mostly to my ever-burgoening "real life commitments" (I am directing a production of Proof at my college and just held auditions... heh, speaking of Hal... and I also have my "mock audition" acting final this monday complete with monologues to learn... shit.), but this post/game has me hooked again. I need to do it and put it on my blog. I wonder if my own iPod is as clairvoyant.

p.s. loved the "don't speak!" reference. HA.

Middento said...

Thanks for this -- it proved most amusing for me as well, heh heh.

Middento said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

You have Tori on your ipod? Good man! It's a cute song too


the weirdest thing for me was that no Madonna or Missy came up and they're pretty prevalent in my library.

par3182 said...

the dangers of having showtunes on one's ipod: the answer to 'how's my love life?' was 'you gotta get a gimmick'.

so very true...


see, isn't this great? showtunes and country songs are both dangerous. cuz they're always telling whole stories.

Anonymous said...

I got some depressing results, especially for the last question.

qta said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Keith said...

Here's mine, which veers wildly between happiness and bleak existential dread.

Glenn Dunks said...

I did mine, 'tis at my blog.

Some of them are freakish! Others, not so much. For question 8 I got Aaliyah's "Read Between the Lines" - scaaaary.

OhMyTrill said...

things get strange when there is a lot of classical music on your iPod...check it out at my blog.

Jason Adams said...

Good times...

ANN said...

hello nathaniel r., i'm nick's friend ann. i stumbled across your most excellent blog tonight. because i'm already fairly convinced that my iPod possesses a higher consciousness than mere silicon, i instantly completed this exercise with somewhat confusing results.

Anonymous said...

I added 11 questions and I am bad at writing the questions:

Click my name.

My Sansa (not iPod) knows me vaguely. Somewhat, but still not barely enough as you, Nathaniel.

Six Green Day songs, and five from "The Phantom of the Opera." See for yourself.

Anonymous said...

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