Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Weekly (Mutant) Horoscope

Just 2 days until X3 opens... And you know what this means. A themed horoscope to help you evolve over the next seven days. You don't need a cure, you just need to accept your mutation. For those unfamiliar with the vast array of merry mutant cited, I've provided links for your edification.

Weekly Movie Horoscope
May 24th -May 30th The Homosuperior Edition

Aries (3.21-4.19)
Your mood will probably be scattered --everything from frustration to pleasure to daydreaming. I'm seeing Havok for you this week... Venus is making a move on Monday which should bring you success --maybe you'll finally get out from under a sibling's shadow or your significant other's 'issues'. Don't let that hothead temper create a rogue plasma blast.

Taurus (4.20-5.20)
Your chart wants you changeable. That's not your natural thing, oh bullish one. But try it. Though you're normally more of a Colossus you'd be better off aping his love Kitty Pryde this week. You'll want to play it agile and loose this week --walking through walls sure could come in handy. The word "no" will also remove barriers.

Gemini (5.21-6.20)
New Moon this weekend: If you've been feeling stuck, these next three weeks are the big ones.Take a road less travelled. Look at Storm for a second. Nobody expected her to go through that mohawk/punk phase while she worked through those Dark Phoenix issues. It'll do you good to go similarly wild this week (while still keeping your wits about you)

Cancer (6.21-7.22)
I'm not sure where to begin Cancer. So many things this week. You're taking your mutant identity cue from Gemini: think Multiple Man. That's the best way to work out conflicting impulses this week: feeling shy but wanting to be touched. Arguing with parents or bosses but also wanting their approval. Look for deeper meanings and multi-task.

Leo (7.23-8.22)
Enthusiasm can work like adrenaline and you've got plenty pumping. Think of yourself as Wolverine and then imagine his berserker rage minus the violence and with an emphasis on his camaraderie with his favored teammates, bub. You'll be as powerful and quick as a "fastball special" if you do. But please: decide just how serious you are about your own Jean Grey, whoever he/she may be.

Virgo (8.23-9.22)
Like Professor Xavier you are spending too much time worrying about others. Take this week to restore some balance to that equation. Remember when he had that passionate love affair with Lilandra? Make sure you get similar pleasure. Bird? Alien? Human? Whatever. Decide what you want and go for it. Get up from that wheelchair. Walk!

Libra (9.23-10.22)
It's all about the mental stimulus this week, Libra and what better way to portray both that and the scales than by invoking the ultimate in dark/light telepathic hotties Jean Grey and Emma Frost. They've both had considerable trouble with their own duality, not to mention each other. You'll be steadier provided you stay focused, pay attention to details, and avoid simple mistakes this week.

Scorpio (10.23-11.21)
Remy LeBeau, also known as Gambit is the character to identify with this week. Embrace your dynamic personality. Creativity is a hotspot for you when the New Moon hits. With all that kinetic energy you can muster the possibilities are endless. Direct these energies at your lovelife but be careful what you're asking for. You'll probably get it as the cards fall where they may.

Sagittarius (11.22-12.21)
Even if you feel like you're screaming you have to vocalize your desires. Loudly. Banshee is your man. Remember when he left superheroing to be with Moira McTaggart on Muir Island? I'm not suggesting you make a change as drastic but house of partnership is key right now. If you're not already partnered it's coming. Don't take anything for granted. Anyone can lose their voice.

Capricorn (12.22-1.19)
As with the influential Magneto you've never been one to give under the weight of pressure. Think of yourself as metal. Nothing about you needs to break but use the power to bend yourself further than usual. A major cycle in your life is ending. You know how comic book characters have a million alternate realities and forgotten story threads. Tie everything up quickly.

Aquarius (1.20-2.18)
Northstarwas the first out gay superhero. You're a trailblazer too so embrace your originality. He was also rich, famous, and desired as a sports star (though criticized for using his extra powers to win). Abundance is headed your way too provided you do the same. Use your natural gifts without guilt. This weekend's new moon in your House of Romance: keep it playful and quick.

Pisces (2.19-3.20)
Like Rogue there may be obvious obstacles to bliss in your personal and romantic lives. But you can touch people so don't feel too sorry for yourself. Push yourself extra hard this week. You have greater power than you think. A major cycle may be ending but try to rework a current situation with a lighter spirit and rewards are bound to come, sugar.

tags: movies, XMen, Comic Books, X-Men, Marvel, film, celebrities, horoscope, zodiac


Kris said...

Keep your expectations low on this thing, Nat. REALLY low. Fox screwed the pooch and Ratner mishandles the easiest of emotional aspects. Not nearly as bad as it could have been, but a justifiable nightmare on many levels. It's a light-beer to Singer's Jameson on the rocks.

adam k. said...

I LOOOOOOVVVVE Emma Frost. She was the coolest villain ever. Also remember loving the Colossus/Kitty Prie romance. So cute.

I don't like my horoscope, though... Multiple Man? wtf?

adam k. said...

Yeah early reviews have been worrying me. I'm not expecting much, myself. Sucks, though. How could singer have left?

Kris said...

Donner's Superman is one of Singer's favorite films of all atime. He left to follow his dream (a useless dream, given how derivative of Donner's work the latest Superman film looks to be) and left Fox hanging out to dry.

That's no excuse for Rothman's callous and immature decision to rush the X-Men film, but back-stabbing and poor decisions are the nature of the L.A. beast.


i'll try to write something up but as of right now. don't want to think about it.

waste of a grand myth.

it's like Rattner has no clue how to direct anything. not the dramatic scenes. not the action. nothing. it's all just kind of there. only not.